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I can feel the pain and sadness without even hearing their voices. I can read it every Monday when questions are sent in; every week when emails come to the inbox; even face to face in the lives of people I love.
“I’m growing, but he’s not,” they whisper. “What do I do?”
Complementarian or egalitarian? These theological terms for the relationship between men and women in marriage and church are loaded with emotion, but do they have to be? And is that what Scripture intended? Over our years being married, Josh and I have discussed these theological points at length. As my ministry has grown we have further discussed what our marriage should look like in light of my public leadership.
Years ago I (Phylicia) was a sexuality blogger. I wrote extensively about purity culture, boundaries, dating, and my own history of sexual sin and addiction. Though I’ve seen stopped writing about it (the blog posts are still there!) it’s still a part of my story and by association, part of my marriage. Josh also brings experiences from his past to our relationship. In this week’s episode of the marriage series, we discuss how those testimonies impact our relationship and what to do when your spouse struggles with sexual sin.
From a bookstore parking lot to publishing books together, Josh and Phylicia share the story of their relationship and how the theology of covenant kept them together through their most difficult marriage years. Josh is the surprise guest in this fifth season of Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer, and he’ll be joining us each week to talk “honest marriage” – what the Bible says about marriage and how that has been fleshed out for Josh and Phy personally over the last almost-eight years.
My hands shook as I poured a glass of tea and my voice trembled when I spoke: “So… in my marriage…” I almost choked on the words, launched into a circle of women I barely knew. Women older than me, married ten, fifteen, thirty years to my three. Women whose marriages looked happy and beautiful and good.
For many Christian girls, the boundaries in dating are fluid and ever-changing. How far you go depends on who you are with, and the standards of purity are, well, fifty shades of gray.
Whether you’re dating or newly married, pursuing God together is the surest way to build a strong relationship foundation. If you’re dating, spending time in God’s Word as a couple will strengthen your resolve for purity. If you’re married, regular devotional times will transform your attitudes toward one another.
They tell you the rose-colored glasses come off. And the newness you feel now – that excitement of standing on the brink – it will unfold into the new-old of day to day, still novel, yet normal. Don’t let it go.
Before we were engaged, Josh and I asked each other a LOT of questions. Getting engaged is a big decision and we wanted to be as united as possible before making that jump! Recently I shared that Josh and I went on some “special” dates when we were dating – dates a little different than what you see on Pinterest.
God doesn’t want his men confined. He wants them strong, free, and bold, ready to stand up for Him and lead their families in their faith and freedom. So that’s what he gave me: An un-boxed man.