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Dear friend,

You were made for abundant life!

I’m Phylicia, and welcome to Driven Women! I believe in abundant life, practically. In singleness or marriage, work or home, we can live as overcomers in Christ. Join me in learning how to apply God’s Word and preach the gospel with your life.

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Featured Article

Soulmates, the Pence Rule, and Brothers in Christ

This episode started, as many others do, with a Voxer conversation about soulmates. Do we have soulmates or are we free to marry any available believer? How are we supposed to relate to the opposite sex?

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The prayer transcript over our house situation is going to be amazing. Just have to tell ya. But I can’t tell it all yet because, well, the story STILL isn’t over. Just know it will be worth the wait!!
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Since we can’t chat houses on today’s Friday “Rhythms and Routines” we are doing what I promised last week - my top tips for thrifting. I know, it’s not that theological. But it sure is FUN!
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Believe it or not 95% of my clothes are thrifted. And not at fancy consignment shops! Most of my art and furniture and dishes are as well. There’s something about the hunt that thrills me and I have a system for it, of course 😛
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Join me in stories today as I show you all the tricks. Just promise not to use them at my local Goodwill 👀

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I’m a strong woman married to a gentle man. My strength has gotten me in trouble only when I worshipped it into sin. Otherwise, it has been an asset and a gift - just as my husband’s gentleness (a strength in itself) has been to me.
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But do you know they key I’ve learned to my strong personality?
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Submission.
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No, not submission to abuse or manipulation. Not unquestioning silence or doltish obedience. Biblical submission is a willing “coming under”, deferring, leading from a place of servanthood.
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The term submission bothers me only because of how I’ve seen it twisted by the church & hated by the world, but regardless of how I feel, the concept is a biblical one. Humility. Deference. Honor.
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My strength is magnified by submission, because it takes supernatural humility to defer. I can only choose honor and deference by the power of the Spirit leading me.
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Everything you see of me speaking, teaching, leading, is done from a “coming under” to Josh, my colaborer in Christ. It’s also coming under my church, their leadership & doctrines - an accountability that every Christian leader should seek.
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If you want to lead and you don’t like the concept of submission, sister, it’s not your time. Jesus was submissive to the Father to the end (Mark 14:36) and is a model for us as we walk in His steps (Phil 2:5-9). Note that submission is not silence (Jesus confronted sin), nor is it the absence of influence (Jesus led from His submissive state, as did the apostles). Submission is a heart attitude toward God and toward those with whom we have covenant (spouse & family of Christ).
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If you knew submission legalistically, it’s time to tear it down and do a biblical rebuild. In today’s Influence Academy, that’s what we’re doing. See stories 💕

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“The defeat we experience in relationships and in temptation happens because we don’t know how to rightly live out the gospel. And often we don’t live out the gospel because we haven’t heard it taught accurately. Many of us assume that if God loves us (a word we define emotionally), and we love Him (emotionally) back, somehow we will live a life of eternal impact. This might satisfy us during an early-morning quiet time with coffee and a candle, but that kind of faith crumbles when we face conflict.
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In crisis, we discover just how weak this gospel is. In the midst of a marital fight, a debilitating illness, or a sudden financial setback, knowing we are beautiful daughters of God falls rather flat. There has to be more to the gospel, the more that Jesus promised in John 10:10. And there is! The complete gospel—our sinfulness, God’s grace, Christ’s imputed beauty—empowers us with a strength the incomplete gospel cannot supply. Without the whole truth about who we are and what God does for us, we will never know the fullness of the life God intends.
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So we need the full story, the whole gospel. The complete gospel enables us to live free from sin, shame, defeat, and stress. Yes, God loves us—and that love came with the highest of costs: Jesus’s death on the cross. Acknowledging our own sinfulness is the first step to realizing the magnitude of God’s love. When women recognize the lengths to which God went in order to bring them into His family, they are transformed. The bondage of besetting sins becomes surmountable. Challenges, fears, and difficulties that could not be conquered by an incomplete gospel are crushed by the power of complete truth.
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Our God is a God of freedom. While we live in fallen world, Christ has overcome the world (John 16:33). Every day that we walk by the Spirit of God, we have what we need to conquer weakness and sin. But it takes more than a feel-good message and an occasional prayer to get there.”
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- Coming soon Feb 2020 💕

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There is so much of God’s love in enjoyment of what He’s given.
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I love to walk through the library and write down titles to read. I’m inspired by the intellect God has imparted to man.
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I love to walk in the trees as the colors flame and flicker with fall. I’m drawn to God’s boundless creativity.
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I love to watch the faces of women light with excitement when God’s word comes alive as I speak it. I’m leveled by God’s use of me.
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I love to listen to music, to watch people dance, to feel dough in my hands, to bend words to paper, to smell coffee brewing, to watch my girls laugh until they cry. I have grown comfortable enjoying my life, whether small or on a stage.
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I used to feel guilty for enjoying anything. I thought receiving the grace was a slap in the face of people less privileged.
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But I’ve realized: it’s in receiving deeply the grace given that we freely turn and give it again.
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When you refuse to let His gifts sink in, to enjoy Him in them, to notice and embrace and hold them gently, what do you have to give to others? And what does that do to your view of God?
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Choose to stay empty handed and you’ll give from empty hands.
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Accept the gifts, and you have something to give. Pressed down, overflowing, abundantly more.

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When I broke my leg this June, it took away the privilege of stewarding my home, work, and family. For two months other people had to do this for me. This was one of the hardest parts of my recovery.
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Now that I can walk again (three weeks now crutch-Free!), I am overwhelmed with gratitude that I get to clean, cook, manage my business, care for my girls - essentially, enjoy the life God has given me to steward.
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If you’re new you might not know that I don’t just teach the Bible; I also teach grace-based productivity. Because I don’t believe that having little kids means life falls apart or “we can’t have nice things”. I don’t believe that being busy means being harried and angry and constantly overwhelmed. And because I’ve created routines and systems that work for our lifestyle, people frequently comment on the peace of our home.
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I’m not saying this in pride; please hear me. I think it’s important for people to be living what they teach, and for it to actually work. AND IT DOES. I discipline myself to get up before my kids, follow my flexible routine, abide by time boundaries, and keep only the things we need and love in our home. It all works together to make it easy for me to enjoy my family & follow my purpose.
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Today in stories I’m answering questions about how I go about my routines and why they work so well. I’ll also provide some resources for you to create your own, and begin walking out of overwhelm and into a Sabbath lifestyle. 💕

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How do you have a critical mind without a critical spirit?
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Apologetics and theology demand we use our minds to discern truth from error. Critical thinking must be taught, but with this comes the danger of criticism. What was once biblical discernment - knowing what is good and finding it - becomes bitter and hard, an ability - not to know what is good - but to point out only what is evil and wrong.
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A critical spirit:
- judges motives in the name of discernment
- gives little grace for growth or ignorance
- looks for opportunities to point out flaws and failures in fellow believers, especially teachers
- claims it is defending truth when it is actually promoting division
- believes its criticism is approved by God because it is “true”, regardless of the attitude with which it is communicated
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None of these things should be found in the heart of a thinking Christian.
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For today’s Influence Academy lesson, I’ll be diving deeper into this topic and how you can (by the Spirit’s power) be a powerhouse for truth without sacrificing grace. In IG stories 💕

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If we believe God can give us eternal salvation after we die, why don’t we trust Him while still living?
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I discussed this yesterday in context of motherhood but it applies to everything.
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If you’re a Christian, you are trusting God for the riskiest part of your existence - your eternal destiny. You think He is good & able enough to provide that...
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But He’s not good enough to provide that job you need.
He’s not good enough to provide a godly spouse.
He’s not good enough to sustain you in waiting.
He’s not good enough to care about your daily life.
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What kind of Father gives up His greatest treasure to make a way for us, only to stop caring when we come with our troubles?
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Jesus died to reconcile us to the Trinity. Because we are reconciled, we can boldly approach the throne (Heb 4:16) and have confidence He hears our every request (1 John 5:14-15).
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Does this mean He gives us what we want, when we want it? No. He sees what we cannot. He knows what we can handle and the growth we need and the faith that’s tested and so much more than our limited minds can fathom.
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And He is kind. Kind enough to make us wait, and kind enough to hear us. Kind enough to invite the request, specific and urgent, and comfort us as we wait on the answer.
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This is why I pray specifically and boldly. It’s why I “ask big”, because I can let Him refine me in the asking, and if the answer is no, I can trust He knew what was best. The asking draws me near, close enough to hear His heart. To know He is for me (Psalm 56:9) when I am in right relationship to Him.
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My encouragement? Stop cleaning up your prayers. Stop limiting God. Stop assuming you already know His will (aside from what’s in Scripture) and ask what you’re not asking. He already sees your heart; you’re not hiding. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Trust daily the One you trusted eternally.

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Kids or career. But definitely not both.
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As young woman growing up in a world of fourth wave feminism I was told I could be whatever I wanted, but that I should do it before kids came along because *Lord knows* kids would shut down my potential.
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The list for ambitious 20 year olds? Travel. Invest in yourself. Don’t get married until you’re in your thirties. And definitely don’t have kids.
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Some of you reading this are single or childless longer, and not by choice - this is not directed at you. This post if for the girls believing the lie that freedom & success can ONLY be found by delaying family as long as possible. That every woman must face a dilemma: Kids or career.
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There are industries & career paths that make the choice difficult, but for Christian ambitious women there is a part of this equation we tend to forget: our God. He gave you your gifts. He gave you your talents. He gave you opportunity & skill & desire for a family. Don’t you think He’ll show you how to steward it all well?
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I walked away from a career in higher education when I had multiple opportunities on the table. A book deal. A remote position. In that season I had to trust that that the God who gave them to me would have more down the road, if I was obedient for my season - which at that time was to stay home with my new baby. I was 25.
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Four years later I have a new book deal, on a topic I’m far more passionate about. I have a business & ministry that provide for my family. I self published two books, freelanced hundreds of articles, cohosted a podcast. TELL ME that my children got in the way of that. Tell me one more time 😡
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Yesterday I was on the phone discussing literary agents while cooking bacon and wiping my baby’s nose. And I stopped at the sink and thanked God: the God who has been faithful to bless that 25-year-old’s obedience to lay it all down for family.
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Dear ambitious girl, don’t believe their lies about your future. Believe your God is bigger.

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“When I joined Driven Women, I didn’t realize that many women were struggling with the same spiritual struggles I was experiencing on a daily basis. Phylicia really enlightened me and being part of her community has brought me closer to Jesus and my family!” -Tiffany H.

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