To-do list ran into appointment which ran into dinner, and before I knew it the clock read 5 PM. I’d done everything I needed to do – except the one thing that really mattered.
Overwhelmed with guilt, I glanced at the Bible propped up on my cookbook stand. I’m sorry, I whispered. Why is it so hard to make time for You?
My productivity kicked in and I began to make resolutions: Tomorrow I’ll get up half an hour earlier and make the time. Tomorrow I’ll read three chapters, take notes, and even pull out my commentary and systematic theology book. Tomorrow I’ll be a good follower of Christ.
But there, spatula in hand, stirring shrimp curry – it’s there I am called to worship God. Not when I clean up my act and do the “Christian thing”. Here and now.
When I fail to make time for God the way I think I ought, I’m quick to accept guilt for my perceived wrongdoing. If devotions weren’t checked off the list along with laundry and my daily cleaning task, what kind of Christian woman am I, really? But until I am stopped at my stovetop, looking at the pages propped open beside me, I fail to see God’s true intentions. I’m too busy penciling Him into my schedule to ask and seek and knock.
Truth is, if I wait to feel worthy of worshiping God, it will never happen. If I wait until I’ve done my Christian duty to love Him, do I really love Him at all? If Christ is nothing more than a checkbox on my schedule… is He really King of my existence?
These are the questions I ask; questions that are hard and uncomfortable. And they were answered in the sanctuary of a stovetop, in the humble galley of my yellow kitchen: Love me before you’re worthy to do so.
We are never worthy to love God. How could we be? By nature we are fallen, separated from Him. It is by His love that we are first brought near, and because He loves us that we love Him. We were not worthy when Christ died. We are worthy now because what He’s done. So this “waiting to be worthy” before approaching God in devotion is just one more lie to keep us from His face.
It’s an insidious lie, clothed in penance and conviction. But conviction spoils to guilt if we do not run to the throne of grace. Rather than self-flagellate over devotions forgotten or prayers unsaid, we need to simply come. Come to the throne. Come to the altar. Come to Jesus.
There will be no best time. It may be at your stovetop.
There should be no hesitation. It may be in your car.
Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, stop waiting for the coffee cup and the Bible and the multi-colored pens and simply come.
Wait no longer to become worthy. Simply love the one Who made you so.