One of the questions I receive every Monday on my Q&A show is, “What are your favorite podcasts?” The list is embarrassingly long! So this week, I’m starting a new blog series that I think you’re going to love: biweekly podcast playlists! Every other week I’ll be sharing the must-listen episodes you don’t want to miss.
In last week’s posts on reframing our view of labor and things we should stop saying about pregnancy, a few readers misunderstood the meaning of “New Age” and its influence on modern pregnancy culture. New Age philosophy is not another term for modern medical practice. New Age practices are the face of spirituality in today’s world, and it benefits every believer to be aware of them – particularly in pregnancy and birth.
The Christian conversation surrounding labor and birth differs little from the world’s. We throw showers, give gifts, and sympathize over morning sickness; but when it comes to birth itself, the conversation remains dominated by New Age (and in some cases, secular feminist) influences. One look at the Instagram hashtags reveals that the creation, sustenance, and birth of life is a sphere dominated by secular ideology. Unless a pregnant woman is considering an abortion, modern Christianity has little to say about pregnancy or birth.
This week on my Q&A show, Ask Anything Monday (hosted on my Instagram), I was asked:
“Why are so many 20-30 somethings still single? Is there a reason people marry later or are Christians too picky?”
I answered with four theories why I think this trend is growing in western culture:
When I was in my teens, my bookshelf held titles like I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Beautiful Girlhood, Emotional Purity, and Ladies in Waiting. While I think these books contain some good concepts, I honestly wish I’d never read them. Their purpose was to motivate me to live my singleness for God; instead, they focused so much on waiting for a relationship, much of my early single season was spent wishing I wasn’t single! The emphasis on “waiting” made it seem like singleness was a holding pattern; some sort of in-between time until I arrived at the Destination: a relationship.
Loneliness is a human condition – not relegated to singleness, but present in marriage, motherhood, work, and home as we experience seasons of relational and spiritual drought. We want it to go away, and for good reason. The gnawing feeling of “aloneness” is uncomfortable. But when we rush through these seasons, desperate for them to end, we’re missing out on their purpose.
Your loneliness can glorify God. In fact, when this trial – because that’s what loneliness is – is permitted to accomplish its full work, loneliness always points to the goodness and glory of Jesus Christ.
“Follow your heart” – this is Disney’s recommendation for those seeking life direction. But it’s not just Disney; it’s the kindergarten curriculum and the children’s books, the songs on the radio and graduation cards. When choosing a life path, we’re supposed to “do what we love” – because if we’re doing what we love, we’ve found our calling. Right?
Six years of my career was spent in higher education, five of those years as a college counselor. As I sit down with parents and students, some starry-eyed and optimistic, others uncertain and under pressure, I frequently come back to the “Disney lie”: That doing what you love is the ticket to success, and that success – in and of itself – will lead to long term happiness.
I know what you’re thinking: these last eight months were pointless. The emotions, the time, the dates, the gifts – useless, wasted, the stuff you throw away like scraps of paper. Except the scraps are your heart, and the wasted time was your life. He’s gone, you’re here, and though you know how to move on and you’re walking forward with the Lord, it’s hard to see the purpose in an ended relationship.
So here’s some hope to tape up your heart: Your broken relationship was not a waste of time.