“Why would God give me these desires if He’s not going to fulfill them?”
It’s a question many young men and women are asking. It’s a question I see at least once a week in my email, sometimes once a day. It’s a pressing concern for Christians, who, in their walk with God are commanded to “be holy as He is holy” – all the while battling a longing for companionship, or marriage, or – well, sex!
What do I do with these desires?
I recently shared an older post of mine – one I wrote shortly after I got married. It’s the story of why I waited until my wedding day to lose my virginity, and I why I did so with no regrets. Shortly after I received a comment: “I like this article, but the title indicates you lose your purity when you get married.”
This statement, though well-intentioned, reveals the problem we face in the church today. Today’s Christian culture treats virginity as equal to purity, when they are not the same thing at all.
“I just didn’t think it was possible to stay pure after falling.” she said, fighting back tears.
As a girl who had previously obliterated my own purity, I wondered the same thing myself. I was a new Christian faced with the mistakes I had made and the consequences they brought to my doorstep. Could I truly say “no” if my next boyfriend wanted to have sex? Was it even possible to conquer the beast that is lust?
Here’s the biggie: Could I ever love God more than my sexual desires?
I decided to save my first kiss for my wedding day long before I started dating. Some will applaud this decision. Others will scoff and roll their eyes. Others will pity me for being a product of my conservative Christian upbringing.
My conviction was shaped through many years of attending weddings my dad, a pastor, was officiating. Some couples had saved their first kiss, some had not. Some weddings deeply moved me in their Christ-centered simplicity. The pure, strong love I saw some couples share in Christ made a deep impression on me.