Sep 2, 2015 | Sexuality
It is one thing to pray for your future husband, to have dreams, and indulge in a once-in-a-while glance at the future. It’s another to allow our hearts and minds to be consumed with love, romance, and the idea of a relationship that does not yet exist. The simple truth is that where your mind is focused is where your heart will go. Satan uses “good” things to distract us from what is best. What is best is to cultivate a mind that is dedicated to Christ, and therefore actions that reflect His power.
Aug 12, 2015 | Singleness
and it won my heart. And he’s still winning my heart to this day.
Love is the choice that keeps on choosing. Don’t settle for a pseudo-love that is an echo of the real thing. Look to God’s definition and allow Him to be your guide. You won’t regret it.
Mar 7, 2015 | Christian Womanhood
The laborious groan of a UPS truck pulled me away from stovetop to kitchen window, where I peered through my blinds like a nosy neighbor. Every time the UPS truck pulls into our complex, I am at the window willing the khaki-clad man to have something in that truck addressed to me. It’s my CBD order – a stack of books I’d bought as my reward for finishing my second, and last, college degree.
The UPS man drove off and I went back to cooking dinner. As a voracious reader, the best reward I could think for myself was a whole stack of recreational books, considering my reading material for the majority of the last three years has been made up of theology textbooks and other assigned reading.
But when I put together my book list, I did not select any fiction. That’s because I don’t read it. This comes as a surprise to many people since fiction is enjoyed by many – and it once was stacked on my bedside table, too. But I stopped reading it, and here’s why:
1. Much modern fiction – especially Christian fiction – has a plot line focused on a love story or romantic theme.
Jan 7, 2015 | Sexuality
Welcome to the ‘Confessions of a Newlywed’ blog series! If you are new to the blog, welcome! This series queues off The Other Virgin Diaries series, spawned by the post I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity. In these posts I will be sharing how I prepared for marriage, how I was NOT prepared for marriage, and what I’ve learned along the way as full time career woman and wife of one year. These posts are a ‘me to you’ story of my experiences. Read my favorite marriage blogs for advice from veteran wives: Time Warp Wife, Unveiled Wife, and Women Living Well.
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Sometimes, marriage advice is depressing.
Before I got married, I asked a lot of questions. I wanted to know what to expect; I wanted to prepare and plan and make the transition as easy as possible. As I asked my questions, however, I wasn’t always pleased with the answers. Some were downright discouraging.
Does this have to be true for ME? I wondered. Matter of fact – it didn’t! Below are four things I was told as an engaged woman that were proven false in my first year of marriage.
1. You can’t plan sex – it’s supposed to be spontaneous.
I’ve sat at many a lingerie shower to hear wives declare the utter impossibility of planning when to have sex.
“It has to be spontaneous!” They exclaim.
But the strategist that I am had to wonder: why do I read so many posts and comments by women, a few years down the road, who seem to think intimacy is a duty and a bore? I didn’t want that happen.
I had heard the phrase, “Sex begins at breakfast”, meaning that your attitude throughout the day, and how you treat your spouse, has great influence on what happens later that night. And it’s definitely true! But because I found this true – and because I knew women take longer to ‘warm up’ to the idea – planning when to have sex seemed like a very logical solution to the ‘problem’ of unwilling wives.
Dec 23, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology
“I don’t want this to come out wrong,” My friend had started tentatively, leaning against the car window. “But I sense a lot of guilt in your voice. Like – you really haven’t forgiven yourself for the ways you have failed God.”
We were driving back from a quick trip to a neighboring city and her words pierced my heart like a sword and I felt the tears brimming. My friend looked at me and said, “Am I wrong in saying that? I just feel as if you’re carrying this burden… and I want you to be free. I just want you to be really free.”
If you knew her – if you knew her story – you’d be astounded at who she is after what she’s been through. You’d be amazed at the joy and freedom of her laugh in light of how she’s been hurt. And me – the one who tapes myself together with lipstick and heels and to-do lists – somehow she was bold enough to break through my blindness.
Because I didn’t even know I wasn’t free.
