I remember sneakily flipping the pages of Cosmopolitan Magazine in a nail salon waiting room. I turned the cover toward the wall so no one would see what I was reading, then voraciously flipped through the pages to fill in the blanks of my sexual education. I’m not the only Christian girl who’s done this. Thousands of us have furtively glanced through those pages.
We hate Cosmo for how it objectifies women, yet Cosmo – and magazines like it – draw us in. Why would a Christian girl read something like this? Three reasons.
A man who loves God will know you’re not just a “good girl” who wants to be liked. He’ll know you’re a sinner saved by grace. He won’t just like you for what you can offer him; he’ll love you for what God is doing in your life, and for how well you’ve submitted to His leading. Only a man who knows Christ can see your flawed, failing heart and choose to love you anyway – and do it over and over again for the rest of his life.
College culture is a prime place for sexual strongholds to begin. Secular universities provide ample opportunity for alcoholism and partying, both of which inhibit our ability to walk by God’s Spirit (which is why alcohol is a gospel issue). The additional pressures of exhaustion and stress make use emotionally vulnerable, and many students seek out coping mechanisms for their loneliness or overwhelm. All of this, partnered with a lack of godly discipleship and accountability, is fertile ground for sexual compromise – and Satan knows it.
many churches encourage struggling couples to “just get married”, rather than deal with the spiritual root of their consistent failure. Because the idolatry of sex, affirmation, and desire was not rooted out prior to marriage, it will manifest itself again within marriage.
The day my husband confessed his sexual history to me, I sat quietly as he told me the truth. I wasn’t shocked. But I knew that – going forward – we’d need to work on our relationship in ways others would not.