Today’s singles are far lonelier, I think, than singles of decades past. It’s a theory for which I have no real proof outside of my own observation, but given the nature of western culture and the habits of my millennial (and younger) peers, I think it’s fairly valid. Singles are lonelier, and there’s a very obvious reason why:
Today’s Christian singles lack real community.
It might be a boyfriend, a marriage, a baby, or a job. Whatever it is – she has it, and you don’t.
If you’ve walked this path beside her for a while it probably feels unfair. If you’ve been waiting longer than she has, it may seem unfairer still. Yet it happens all the time: God gives your sister the very thing for which you’re waiting. How do you respond?
The world needs us, you and I.
It needed me when I left, and it needs you for staying. You wouldn’t know it from what the magazines say… the Instagram posts about wanderlust and adventure, about moving out and moving on. The world makes it seem like I’m bigger, bolder, for leaving.
And you – the girl who never left home? You’re the one who “settled”.
Christians possess all the power of God to pursue His holiness in their lives. On our own, we could never achieve virtue and honor. But by walking according to the Spirit of God in us, His character is manifested in ours. Courtship culture has ignored the role the Holy Spirit plays in relationships, and has taken up the mantle of the Spirit for itself. And like most pseudo-Holy Spirits, it doesn’t do a very good job.
We can set up physical standards, have chaperones, and be as “intentional” as we like, but if the Spirit of God is not alive and active in our hearts, we can find sin. Purity is not a list of outward actions. It is an inner change of desire and priority.
It has become crystal clear that His grace is more than enough for us, and that even as we wait for answers to our prayers, nothing in this life and in this world is more worthy of pursuit than His very presence. We know that this contentment and ability to rejoice in Him in the midst of pain-filled waiting is only possible because of His grace, and we praise Him that other people are seeing it and are being encouraged.