In the early years of my marriage I struggled deeply with anger. While I still struggle in this area, the amount of anger I spent on Josh in those early years was much greater than it is now. The change in my heart – and marriage – didn’t come from learning anger management techniques (helpful as those might be) or counting to ten and breathing through my nose. The progress in my marriage began with the affection of God.
Friends – SO many great books launched in Fall 2021. I was honestly overwhelmed. I have a stack as big as my torso on my desk and wanted to do individual book reviews for each, but since I want these in front of you before 2023, I decided to shorten my summaries and compile them in one place! If you’re looking for some great gifts, or want to keep this post for future reference, save it in your browser because this is one to come back to!
In our early years of marriage we did not fight fair. We lectured. We withdrew. We were condescending and rude. Even when we learned to fight with more grace, we ended up in the same unhealthy patterns of communication – fighting over the same things and ending the same way. Josh struggled to forgive, I struggled to apologize. While we still struggle in these areas today, we’ve been equipped with tools to better navigate our fights and to communicate our needs graciously.
I can feel the pain and sadness without even hearing their voices. I can read it every Monday when questions are sent in; every week when emails come to the inbox; even face to face in the lives of people I love.
“I’m growing, but he’s not,” they whisper. “What do I do?”
If you’ve been in my corner of the internet for any span of time, you know I use church history to discuss theology, culture, and discernment in this present day. Church history (and history in general!) tells us why we are where are; it offers an explanation for ideas and cultural shifts. It gives context, background, and meaning. Basically – it’s important!
Complementarian or egalitarian? These theological terms for the relationship between men and women in marriage and church are loaded with emotion, but do they have to be? And is that what Scripture intended? Over our years being married, Josh and I have discussed these theological points at length. As my ministry has grown we have further discussed what our marriage should look like in light of my public leadership.
Years ago I (Phylicia) was a sexuality blogger. I wrote extensively about purity culture, boundaries, dating, and my own history of sexual sin and addiction. Though I’ve seen stopped writing about it (the blog posts are still there!) it’s still a part of my story and by association, part of my marriage. Josh also brings experiences from his past to our relationship. In this week’s episode of the marriage series, we discuss how those testimonies impact our relationship and what to do when your spouse struggles with sexual sin.
From a bookstore parking lot to publishing books together, Josh and Phylicia share the story of their relationship and how the theology of covenant kept them together through their most difficult marriage years. Josh is the surprise guest in this fifth season of Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer, and he’ll be joining us each week to talk “honest marriage” – what the Bible says about marriage and how that has been fleshed out for Josh and Phy personally over the last almost-eight years.
![When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable [Book Review]](https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG-0826-1080x675.jpg)
When I heard the title of Karen Ehman’s latest book, I knew I needed to read it. Without even seeing the subtitle I knew the content was applicable to me and my lifelong struggle of making choices to prevent conflict and make people like me. And if you’ve read anything from Karen, you know you’ll hear truth like she’s sitting at the table with you to talk about it.
A few months ago I shared on Instagram that we don’t teach our children a gospel message using language like, “Ask Jesus into your heart and…” Many questions arose from what I shared and I want a permanent place to store this information! I think more parents (and pastors) are moving toward clarity in the gospel message, and as we do, I hope this post serves as a jumping-off point for prayerful discussion.