I know where you are because I’m there, too.
Dear girl,
I see you. I see you scouring the internet for articles telling you that what you’re doing isn’t wrong, that you shouldn’t feel guilty, everyone does it, you’re fine. You’ve found plenty to support what you want to hear, but somehow none say it in a way that really puts you at ease.
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“I just didn’t think it was possible to stay pure after falling.” she said, fighting back tears.
As a girl who had previously obliterated my own purity, I wondered the same thing myself. I was a new Christian faced with the mistakes I had made and the consequences they brought to my doorstep. Could I truly say “no” if my next boyfriend wanted to have sex? Was it even possible to conquer the beast that is lust?
Here’s the biggie: Could I ever love God more than my sexual desires?
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This weekend I read Maddi Runkles’ story: How she discovered she was pregnant her senior year of high school, confessed to her school, and consequential to the sexual sin that caused the pregnancy was not allowed to attend classes or walk in their graduation (though she did receive a diploma). I then read the statement by Heritage Academy – why they dealt with a pregnant student in the manner they did.
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“Is lingerie sinful?”
“What is oral sex?”
“How do I get over my husband’s sexual history?”
These questions have a common denominator: many of their authors never received a sex talk. If they did, it was insufficient or laced with the influence of cultural worldviews. Our Christian young women are seeking answers about their sexuality.
The world is ready to give them what they want.
We need to reach them first.
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As Christians, we know we need discipleship: continued instruction in the truth of our faith. But sexual discipleship? Most of you have probably never heard these terms in the same sentence – and I certainly hadn’t until last year. It was the year I discovered Authentic Intimacy, Dr. Juli Slattery’s ministry for men, women, and Christian leaders. Dr. Slattery’s use of the term “sexual discipleship” clicked in my mind, and I realized that all the work I’ve done on sexuality for the last three years fell into this ministry.
Dr. Slattery is revolutionary in her approach to this topic, and her voice is much needed in this world. But even she can only reach so many people with the message of sexual redemption. We need sexual discipleship in every state, every city, and every church.
The truth is, Christians are already being sexually discipled – by the world. Young women learn about sex from Cosmo magazine, novels, and girl’s nights. Young men are exposed to pornography at as young as eight years old. Sexual addictions and perversions are as present in the church as they are in our culture, but no one wants to speak up because of the shame.
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