Why Am I Still Single? (And Other Questions)


Update: the first post in the series is live! Click here to read “Am I Single Because I’m Doing Something Wrong?”

I used to stand by the fence lining our back pasture and watch the sun set, and when I did, I often prayed the same prayer: “Dear God, I don’t know where he is, or when I’ll meet him… but please be with him, and help me wait.”

And wait I did: seven, eight, nine, ten years from when I first began to pray that prayer to when I stood at the altar and took his hand. It wasn’t easy. I’ll never pretend it was. But it was possible, and it was worth it.

My sisters and I laugh that I’ll write a “relationship post” when I need more clicks on my blog, and truthfully, such posts perform very well. But they perform well because they address real issues that girls are facing and answer real questions that are being asked. So for the July series, I’m doing something I haven’t done before: an entire month focusing on the questions single girls are asking and the trials they face in the season of singleness.

There is a misnomer that married people don’t understand singleness, or singles in general. Newsflash: we were single once too! And marriage doesn’t cure your loneliness, as you’ll hear me repeat throughout this series. Singleness and marriage are both stages of life God uses to sanctify us. One is not better than the other. Both have their benefits and both have their challenges. How we deal with those benefits and challenges defines who we are in that season of life.

So to begin this series, I asked attendees at my monthly Facebook party to give me some of their own questions and challenges. I’ve compiled their answers into the topics for this month:

  • How to balance waiting with meeting new people
  • How singles and married people can support one another
  • What if Prince Charming never comes?
  • If I’m single, am I doing something wrong?
  • How to deal with loneliness and desire
  • How to end a relationship well
  • The single’s role in the church
  • How to pray for a future mate
  • What is off-putting to men?
  • How important peace is in relationship decisions
  • What to do when you want to stop waiting
  • Guidelines for choosing a good man
  • Distinguishing between love and infatuation
  • Breaking the friend barrier
  • How you know they are the “one”

When I write, I don’t just sit down and blast out my opinions. I want my readers to know I carefully consider each topic, pray over it, and look at what God has said about these and other issues before I write anything. In the end, what I say will only matter if it is based on an objective standard; human experience may be helpful, but it is not the final word. God is.

And God chooses to use singleness for all of us – some longer than others. I hope this series is helpful to you as you navigate this season, or as your friends navigate it, if you invite them to join in!

This brings me to a final point: the series can be followed on Facebook, and Instagram. I would love for you to follow along and invite your friends! My blog Facebook page, as well as Instagram, is a center of much discussion on each post. 

I look forward to our discussion this month and pray many of you are encouraged in this season. Remember: singleness is not a gift – it’s a testing period. The gift comes by persevering when it’s hard.


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