The narrowness of my beliefs was safe, comfortable, and secure. I trusted the people I’d read and heard. Their commentary was enough to authorize what I believed, and to question those ideas felt like spiritual treason.
Then I read the Bible for myself.
A few weeks ago I received an interesting question on my weekly Q&A show on Instagram. The reader asked: “Do you think dating is just practice for divorce, like many conservative groups say?” I was a little surprised I’d never heard this before, given my own acquaintance with purity culture. It’s the perfect lay-up to the courtship conversation. And it’s a question we really need to answer in an age of temporary love.
A few weeks ago I did a mini-series on my Instagram stories regarding the misapplication of popular bible verses – verses like Jeremiah 29:11. The ensuing conversation in my community was both exciting and discouraging. In one sense, it was exciting to see how many believers recognized the problems with taking verses out of context and misapplying them. But it was saddening to see how many people had learned these verses in their wrong context, and how many of them were overwhelmed and discouraged when they found out this was the case.
The role of fathers is vital. The love of a good father shows a daughter the kind of man she should look for in a spouse. But what happens when a father’s example becomes a template?
I think we’re seeing the result of this in Christian dating. Young women enter the dating sphere looking for a copy of their dad. The problem? Fifty year old men don’t come in twenty-two year old bodies! A few weeks ago I discussed three misconceptions about biblical masculinity. If there were a fourth, this would be it: Your husband is not your father.