Facebook comment streams are a dangerous place, but I find myself drawn into them, almost unable to resist. Perusing the argumentative stream on a blog post recently, I saw a theme emerge. The post was discussing modern Christian men. The comment thread was peppered with descriptions of masculinity: Words like leadership, protection, providing, littered the discussion. But in equal number were comments decrying the existence of man-buns and murses, guys who don’t hunt and drive a Prius – as if biblical masculinity required a certain haircut and hobby list.

“I feel like married people are on a different plane.” Some version of that sentence enters my inbox on a monthly basis.

My married friends don’t have time for me anymore.

When my friends couple up, they start treating me like a project – just because I’m single.

I’m sad my best friend is getting married because it means I’m going to lose her.

I often speak to Christian women frustrated by the lack of dating options in their circle of peers. They’ve tried involvement in their communities, joining new groups and clubs, and even switching churches to surround themselves with people their age – and still, women outnumber men 3:1! But when I suggest they consider online dating, I am universally received with shock. “Doesn’t that mean I’m not trusting God?” They ask.

“Absolutely not!” I answer – and this post explains why!