As members of this eternal purpose we walk by faith and not by sight (2 Cor. 5:7). Everything we do should be guided by our foundational knowledge of God: that He has a purpose, and we are part of it.
I’m five months into this motherhood adventure and am finally in a place where I can see fruit from the seeds planted those first six weeks. Those who follow my story know that I didn’t have much time to prepare for Adeline’s arrival (we moved to a new state five days before she was born)! I was more concerned about my natural birth than anything else at the time, so I spent more time preparing for that than I did reading up on post-birth care. Oopsies!
They warned me before I got here.
“Babies ruin bodies.”
“Enjoy this now – you’ll never see it again after kids!”
“You’ll never be the same.”
I guess they were right. I am ruined. I don’t see it. I’m not the same.
Don’t look for a man to “spiritually lead” you; you need a man spiritually led by God, whose faithfulness is the foundation of every true love. The man led by God is led by God’s love. God’s love is unfailing. God’s love is steadfast. God’s love stays.
As much as I liked the fight, I hated watching Josh walk away. I hated knowing I may have driven him away with my yelling and compelling (read: ruthless) argumentation. But now we’ve only been married two years and have seen incredible improvement in how we fight. Some of this is simply due to emotional and spiritual maturity, but it’s also by implementing the following five strategies.
People say the first year of marriage is the hardest. I think the first year a child arrives is the hardest! Marriage was pretty simple when we were both working, got a reasonable amount of sleep each night, and weren’t captive to the feeding schedule of a tiny human. Our little girl is the light of our lives, totally worth those first six weeks (the primary period of “what-on-earth-is-happening”), but her arrival required some major adjustments to our relationship. Our marriage changed when Adeline was born; it changed in five distinct ways.
I recently finished the book Overwhelmed: Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time by Brigid Shulte and was so challenged by the research Brigid shared. The book questioned many of the norms of work and home – particularly the concepts of the “ideal worker” and the “ideal mother”. An ideal worker is the person who stays late, does more, answers emails after hours, and is invested in her job at the expense of all other priorities. The ideal mother is the woman many of us attempt to be because we think we should – spinning plates of work, home, parenthood and marriage all at once, by ourselves. Quite often, the ideal worker and ideal mother are combined into one completely overwhelming individual we measure ourselves against every day.
These days we move strategically, chess pieces navigating the game. We have to know if he’s ready to spiritually lead and financially take on a family. We have to know where it’s headed because otherwise, it’s a waste of time – right? Dating is supposed to lead to marriage – right?
Not always.
Too many single women get discouraged about motherhood before they even arrive there. Motherhood does not destroy your identity, nor does it take away from the life you lived as a single. Motherhood enriches your days, filling them with as many smiles and giggles as new tasks and responsibilities.
My daughter is not my world, and I’m a better mom because of it.
Not better than other moms who do things differently; better than the mom I would be if I did things differently – if my world revolved around her.
I love her. She is a light to my life: her smiles, her giggles, and those milky blue eyes that search my face from behind her Tommee Tippee. The little fingers that grip my pinky – I love them. I love her eagerness, her excitement, and her energy.