Feb 13, 2017 | Christian Life & Theology, Dating & Marriage
I used to think if I stayed pretty enough, slim enough, “made an effort”, it would make up for my hot temper. It didn’t.
I used to think if I managed my house with the superwoman ability of June Cleaver, he wouldn’t notice the lash of tongue. But he did.
He once told me there was nothing that pushed him away more than an angry woman. Yet here he is, married to someone with all that potential, and he loves her anyway. He loves me anyway. It doesn’t make sense.
Feb 6, 2017 | Christian Life & Theology, Singleness
Excellent.
It’s who I wanted to be. Excellence – my goal in work, home, marriage, motherhood, friendship – in every circle of life I would be at the top. I would not just do good; I would be good. I would be good at everything.
I sought new tasks and worked willingly: typing, scrubbing, cooking, writing.
I found the best deals and the cheapest groceries and cooked the healthiest meals.
I got up at 5 AM, planned my day, made the list, did the things.
I became a business. I worked out regularly. I dressed myself with as much style and class as I knew how.
Because I had to be excellent.
Feb 1, 2017 | Dating & Marriage
He would be happier with her, I thought. He would be better off.
Always there, the silent witness to my marriage; a quiet presence to my pain. Hers was a face I knew as well as my own, though I’d never seen her. Hers was the voice in my head and in my heart, telling me I was never enough: never fun enough, never compassionate enough, never – her.
He should have married her, I’d think, and work harder to be everything she was and more.
Jan 17, 2017 | Dating & Marriage, Singleness
Christians possess all the power of God to pursue His holiness in their lives. On our own, we could never achieve virtue and honor. But by walking according to the Spirit of God in us, His character is manifested in ours. Courtship culture has ignored the role the Holy Spirit plays in relationships, and has taken up the mantle of the Spirit for itself. And like most pseudo-Holy Spirits, it doesn’t do a very good job.
We can set up physical standards, have chaperones, and be as “intentional” as we like, but if the Spirit of God is not alive and active in our hearts, we can find sin. Purity is not a list of outward actions. It is an inner change of desire and priority.
Jan 2, 2017 | Christian Life & Theology, Singleness
I shifted in my seat at the women’s conference as the speaker said it again.
“You are a beautiful, chosen, special woman of God. There is no one in the world like you!”
It’s the same message I’d heard dozens of times on the radio, in books, at conferences – even emblazoned on coffee mugs and shirts at every LifeWay Store in America. It’s the same message preached to Christian women in every corner of western culture. And it’s a message that – while well-intentioned – is completely deficient.
