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Why Uncertainty Is Necessary

May 2, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology

A few days ago I received my Commencement packet in the mail. As I flipped through the pages, I was in something of a daze considering how long this day has been in coming. Hours of late night work, crying over papers I was sure would be the death of me, doing my best to keep up my grades through engagement, wedding, full time job and then early stages of pregnancy – and here I am: graduation!

Until my last class concluded in March I had always been sure of two things: I had to finish my degree, and we (Mr. M and I) needed to pay off his student loans to become debt-free. In March, I finished my Bachelor of Science in Religion and we made our last payment to Sallie Mae. I wanted to shout: “I’m FREEEEE!”

Once the excitement died down, however, I realized the things I had worked toward for so many years were now complete. The things that were certain were gone. Suddenly, the future seemed clouded with a fog of options and uncertainties, completely out of my control.

Every month I reassess my goals using Lara Casey’s PowerSheets. As I wrote down my goals for May I looked back at the goals I’d listed for 2015. I was a little astonished at what I could check off.

Life Isn’t Meant to Be Easy

Apr 7, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology

“You are going to be white if it kills me.”

I plopped the bucket on my kitchen floor and got down on my knees, scrub brush in hand. The grout in my kitchen tile is the bane of my existence. I’ve tried bleach, I’ve tried baking soda and vinegar, my good ole’ Murphy’s Oil Soap – nothing would make the grout white. So on my day off I decided to attack the tile with full force: baking soda and hydrogen peroxide.

What began as a small, ‘quick’ project turned into a five-hour affair of misery.

First, I ran out of baking soda (some planning would have been nice). So, I thought, isn’t washing soda pretty much the same thing?

Friends, washing soda is not the same thing as baking soda.

The washing soda and peroxide paste morphed into cement. It took an extra half hour of scrubbing, splattering all over my stove, cupboards, and refrigerator, two bruised knees and a lot of paper towel to remedy my little experiment.

I will never again tell my floor to “kill me” in order for it to be clean. Because it will.

Dear God: Here Are My Leftovers

Mar 19, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology, Christian Womanhood

The other night I made a magnificent replica of Olive Garden’s chicken and gnocchi soup. It had a whole stick of butter and two cups of milk and it was Italian perfection.

The problem: it made enough for six people, and Mr. M and I are only two.

I put the pot in the fridge and for the next week chicken and gnocchi stew was our primary lunch option. By the third day, I was really over it.

We were still in the midst of the gnocchi siege when my parents called, saying they would swing by on a Tuesday night – boosting our dinner number from the usual two to seven people. I raced to Kroger on my lunch to buy a fat-laced chuck roast, heirloom carrots and fingerling potatoes. Then I floored it home to get the meal in the crock pot before heading back to work.

The roast turned out perfectly for our company – walking in the door I could smell the herbs I’d rubbed into the meat, the smell of the beef broth and the vegetables, and pretty soon the green beans and rolls began to waft their scents into the air. I set the table carefully with my Blue Willow china and cleaned the kitchen. It’s not every day you have company from 16 hours away!

I put the gnocchi soup on the stovetop as a back up in case people were still hungry… but never served it. After all… it’s leftovers.

I’m a Christian, And I Cuss a Little

Mar 18, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology, Christian Womanhood

It’s not the first time I’ve used such choice words. Or rather, words of choice – those few who make themselves readily available in situations such as these. They lie in wait for stress, anxiety, car doors and thumbs to make their grand entrance. Not everyone struggles with their mouth and not everyone struggles with their mouth in this way. While I’m not proud about my temptation to swear when frustrated and angry, I’m not going to pretend I haven’t done it, as the story above illustrates with painful clarity. But there’s a bigger issue at play here; a question that may seem silly to ask but in a culture of compromise is one many Christians are asking: should I do anything about it?

Dear God, I’m Not Qualified to Be a Mom

Mar 14, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology, Motherhood

I took the pregnancy test in a hotel bathroom. I left it on the counter and went into the sitting area to do homework while Mr. M watched TV. It was our one year anniversary.

“Well?” He asked. “I don’t know anything yet,” I replied. “It’s really probably nothing. I’m going to do homework.”

Ten minutes later Mr. M came out of the bathroom holding a plastic stick with two pink lines.

“We’re having a baby!”

—

My husband was thrilled when we first found out. Just the week prior he had been asking when I thought we’d really try for a Baby M, since we weren’t really trying at all. It all happened so much faster than I had anticipated, and while I wasn’t disappointed by any means, I felt extremely unprepared.

I’m the woman who maps out the entire itinerary for a trip, day by day, list by list, prior to leaving. I’m the one who plans my grocery list around a map of the store for most efficient shopping experience. And I’m the one who plans my schedule two weeks out, so if you need an appointment, tomorrow is not available.

The Practical Power of God’s Love

Mar 5, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology

Nobody has it all together, but that doesn’t make sin okay (and anger and fear are both sins, because they are contrary to God’s perfect nature). It means I – and you – draw closer to the God who has reached down to make us whole and holy, the only place where we can find security outside ourselves and relief from every fear.

Top Three Weekly: Questions & Inspiration

Jan 9, 2015 | Christian Life & Theology

It’s Wednesday galfriends – we’re halfway there!

Today I’m answering the top three questions I received last week:

Is it biblical to desire marriage?
How do I forgive myself for sinning against God?
Is it wrong to date in high school?

Now for this week’s ‘inspiration’. This is a new addition to the blog that, I hope, will make it more personal between us! Below are my favorite quotes, images, songs and books this week.

Images

When I need some encouragement, I like to look at beautiful things. That’s why I created a Pinterest board called ‘Beautiful’. Here I pin all my favorite quotes, pictures, and happy thoughts to return to when I am stressed or worried.

A few of my favorites:

Why Accepting Grace Is The Best Decision You Can Make

Dec 23, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology

“I don’t want this to come out wrong,” My friend had started tentatively, leaning against the car window. “But I sense a lot of guilt in your voice. Like – you really haven’t forgiven yourself for the ways you have failed God.”

We were driving back from a quick trip to a neighboring city and her words pierced my heart like a sword and I felt the tears brimming. My friend looked at me and said, “Am I wrong in saying that? I just feel as if you’re carrying this burden… and I want you to be free. I just want you to be really free.”

If you knew her – if you knew her story – you’d be astounded at who she is after what she’s been through. You’d be amazed at the joy and freedom of her laugh in light of how she’s been hurt. And me – the one who tapes myself together with lipstick and heels and to-do lists – somehow she was bold enough to break through my blindness.

Because I didn’t even know I wasn’t free.

Dear Girl, You Are Not Your Parents

Dec 18, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology, Singleness

Dear girl,

You’ve stopped on the breakneck journey of life to read this post, and I’m glad you did. For the moment you’re here, I want you to set down the two suitcases you have in your hands – the one called Father, and the other called Mom.

I want you to set them aside and hear something true.

Every person on this earth has parents, whether that term refers simply to their biological origins or if it has the deeper relational meaning of a family tie. You have a mother and dad. Some of you don’t know either of them. Some of you lost one to death or divorce. Some of you were hurt by them, abused by them, or neglected by them. Some feel you can’t meet their expectations. Some of you were babied and enabled by them.

Our parents have a profound effect on our lives, and their choices have the power to influence us for years to come.

But dear girl, your life is not the sum of your parents’ failure or success.

You are neither a trophy nor a disappointment.

Your identity is not based on your last name or your parents’ actions. They are imperfect people, sinners just like you and me. But their flaws should not dictate our value, or we will go through life measuring our worth against the opinions of people instead of the opinion of God.

Some of us had parents who did things well: they loved us, they trained us, they taught us, they cared about us. But those of us with this story carry another burden: the burden of expectation. Just as some carry the weight of their parents’ poor decisions or disapproval, others carry the weight of comparison. They think their marriage is supposed to look just like their parents’ did. They think their lives, homes, and children are supposed to be just like their childhood. And when it isn’t – as most assuredly will be the case – they are assaulted with discontent and disillusionment.

How to Find the Song In Your Struggle

Nov 28, 2014 | Christian Life & Theology, Singleness

I think we need courage to get up in the morning and face another day of sameness. We need courage to live another season of singleness. We have to fight for joy, face our fears, and wait on the Lord’s timing in every phase of life – and that takes courage! But like me on my mountain run, we get weak and want to give up. We want to collapse in a ditch, wheezing, “Just leave me here! Go on without me!”

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