Honest Marriage Episode 7 // On Transitions
For years it seemed like Josh and I could not come up for air. During engagement, Josh struggled to find a job after college. The job he found was unpredictable and kept him on the road every day, sometimes away for a week or more at a time. Once we were married, not much changed. We found out we were pregnant on our first anniversary and from then on experienced a succession of job changes, losses, financial set backs, out of state moves, more babies, moving again, starting a business – it just didn’t end.
Why Online Christians Are So Mean (And What to Do About It)
If you’ve ever perused the Facebook comments on a popular Christian page, you know exactly why I’m writing this article. Facebook comment threads are a window into raw humanity, are they not? And this is true of all social media, not just Christian pages! So why do Christian commenters seem no different from their unbelieving associates? The attitude, tone, and name-calling is exactly the same – maybe with a few less swears. It doesn’t take a biblical scholar to say: Something isn’t right.
Honest Marriage Episode 6 // On Parenting
We’re told that having kids can be the death knell of a marriage. We’re told kids can ruin, wreck or render painful a relationship otherwise well preserved. But the truth is that kids don’t ruin marriages; they reveal them. Serving the children God blesses us with will expose our patterns of sin and selfishness, things we were better able to brush under the rug without little humans around. In this episode of the Honest Marriage series on Verity Podcast, Josh and Phy talk about how parenting changes marriage, how they get on the same page, and how to communicate about parenting decisions (especially in the little years).
We Serve a Playful God
We know God is holy. We know is kind, good, just, gracious, and all the spiritual qualities we observe in Scripture. But if we are image-bearers of Christ… created to echo His creative and loving power… is our playfulness an echo of His heart?
How to Avoid the Theological Pendulum
In my interdenominational work I frequently see a “theological pendulum swing”: negative experiences in one corner of Christendom driving believers into the opposite persuasion. Changing opinions are not a problem; they’re often a sign of maturity. The problem? When those believers turn and shout at the corner in which they used to stand, worried everyone who remains there is on the brink of deception.
Honest Marriage Episode Five // On Pregnancy and Postpartum
Marriage comes with its stressors and challenges. Add onto that the challenges of pregnancy and postpartum, and marriage can feel incredibly hard. Emotions and hormones are running high, both parties can feel neglected, all while caring for a tiny human! There is so much going on in this season marriage can sometimes take a back burner. But it’s a season where we need one another more than ever.
How Accepting God’s Affection Helps You Love Your Spouse
In the early years of my marriage I struggled deeply with anger. While I still struggle in this area, the amount of anger I spent on Josh in those early years was much greater than it is now. The change in my heart – and marriage – didn’t come from learning anger management techniques (helpful as those might be) or counting to ten and breathing through my nose. The progress in my marriage began with the affection of God.
Ten Christian Books for Every Life Stage
Friends – SO many great books launched in Fall 2021. I was honestly overwhelmed. I have a stack as big as my torso on my desk and wanted to do individual book reviews for each, but since I want these in front of you before 2023, I decided to shorten my summaries and compile them in one place! If you’re looking for some great gifts, or want to keep this post for future reference, save it in your browser because this is one to come back to!
Honest Marriage Episode Four // On Fighting Well
In our early years of marriage we did not fight fair. We lectured. We withdrew. We were condescending and rude. Even when we learned to fight with more grace, we ended up in the same unhealthy patterns of communication – fighting over the same things and ending the same way. Josh struggled to forgive, I struggled to apologize. While we still struggle in these areas today, we’ve been equipped with tools to better navigate our fights and to communicate our needs graciously.
When Your Husband’s Christian Walk is Weak
I can feel the pain and sadness without even hearing their voices. I can read it every Monday when questions are sent in; every week when emails come to the inbox; even face to face in the lives of people I love.
“I’m growing, but he’s not,” they whisper. “What do I do?”
How Church History Makes Sense of Today
If you’ve been in my corner of the internet for any span of time, you know I use church history to discuss theology, culture, and discernment in this present day. Church history (and history in general!) tells us why we are where are; it offers an explanation for ideas and cultural shifts. It gives context, background, and meaning. Basically – it’s important!
Honest Marriage Episode Two // On Gender Roles
Complementarian or egalitarian? These theological terms for the relationship between men and women in marriage and church are loaded with emotion, but do they have to be? And is that what Scripture intended? Over our years being married, Josh and I have discussed these theological points at length. As my ministry has grown we have further discussed what our marriage should look like in light of my public leadership.
Honest Marriage Episode Three // On Sexual Sin
Years ago I (Phylicia) was a sexuality blogger. I wrote extensively about purity culture, boundaries, dating, and my own history of sexual sin and addiction. Though I’ve seen stopped writing about it (the blog posts are still there!) it’s still a part of my story and by association, part of my marriage. Josh also brings experiences from his past to our relationship. In this week’s episode of the marriage series, we discuss how those testimonies impact our relationship and what to do when your spouse struggles with sexual sin.
Honest Marriage Episode One // Our Marriage Story
From a bookstore parking lot to publishing books together, Josh and Phylicia share the story of their relationship and how the theology of covenant kept them together through their most difficult marriage years. Josh is the surprise guest in this fifth season of Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer, and he’ll be joining us each week to talk “honest marriage” – what the Bible says about marriage and how that has been fleshed out for Josh and Phy personally over the last almost-eight years.
![When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable [Book Review]](https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG-0826-400x250.jpg)
When Making Others Happy is Making You Miserable [Book Review]
When I heard the title of Karen Ehman’s latest book, I knew I needed to read it. Without even seeing the subtitle I knew the content was applicable to me and my lifelong struggle of making choices to prevent conflict and make people like me. And if you’ve read anything from Karen, you know you’ll hear truth like she’s sitting at the table with you to talk about it.
Our Kids Won’t “Ask Jesus Into Their Hearts” and Here’s Why
A few months ago I shared on Instagram that we don’t teach our children a gospel message using language like, “Ask Jesus into your heart and…” Many questions arose from what I shared and I want a permanent place to store this information! I think more parents (and pastors) are moving toward clarity in the gospel message, and as we do, I hope this post serves as a jumping-off point for prayerful discussion.
![Hope Always: How to Be a Force for Life in a Culture of Suicide [Book Review]](https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG_0042-400x250.jpeg)
Hope Always: How to Be a Force for Life in a Culture of Suicide [Book Review]
I first discovered this book when I heard the author, Dr. Matthew Sleeth, speak at a critical thinking summit here in Petoskey. His message was so powerful I knew I wanted to read his work – and when I arrived at his booth, he was GIVING his books away. I may have grabbed this book for free, but it is certainly worth your money and this review will detail why.
![Arminian Theology: Myths and Realities [Book Review]](https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/IMG-0041-400x250.jpg)
Arminian Theology: Myths and Realities [Book Review]
People who want to know about libertarian free will, how to understand biblical predestination if you’re not a Calvinist, and whether Arminians are indeed “false teachers” on the verge of theological liberalism gather each Ask Anything Monday to pose questions about this theology. That’s why I am so delighted to offer this book review! I think it will give readers – Arminian, Calvinist and undecided – the push to understand Wesleyan-Arminian history accurately and argue for/against it rightly.
When to Quit a Bible Reading Plan
I’ve talked about bible reading plan options, why bible study matters, how to create a bible study spot in your home – but what about when to QUIT a bible plan that isn’t serving you? Did you know that was even an option? Because it is! Believe it or not, bible reading plans that worked in one season might not work in another. Even plans we’ve loved in the past can stop being enjoyable or effective in the present. Here are three reasons to quit a Bible reading plan and what to do instead.
Where the Gospel Meets Anxiety
During the first season of Verity podcast I shared podcast versions of each chapter in my book Stop Calling Me Beautiful: Finding Soul Deep Strength in a Skin Deep World. Two thirds of this book is “applied theology”: how the gospel directly impacts our struggles with sex, legalism, shame, and – in this episode particularly – anxiety.
![Salvation By Allegiance Alone [Book Review]](https://phyliciamasonheimer.com/wp-content/uploads/Image-from-iOS-1-1-scaled-e1630689936743-400x250.jpg)
Salvation By Allegiance Alone [Book Review]
Salvation by Allegiance Alone probably makes a few people a bit wiggly when they see the title because we’re used to the Five Solas (grace alone, faith alone, Scripture alone, etc.) and none of those Solas mention the word “allegiance”. But actually… one does. Sola Fide, or “faith alone”, links us to Matthew Bates’ topic. He argues that how we define “faith” results in either an authentic Christian life or one riddled by uncertainty and lack of fruit. If “faith” is just a vague mental assent (“I asked Jesus into my heart” or “I believe in Jesus”), nominal “Christians” should not surprise us. But what if faith – as Jesus and Paul and Peter describe it – isn’t just “belief”? What if it’s more than that?
How to Create a Biblical Family Culture
In between posts about theology, critical thinking and my latest book review, I talk a lot about creating a family culture that is biblical, joyful, and fulfilling. If you’ve never heard the term “family culture”, you’re not alone – I pretty much made it up. Ha! But it’s not a new concept with me (Jefferson Bethke has been talking about similar things for a while!) and it’s one that will serve families well if they take it to heart.
Four Views of Baptism
There are few topics that divide Christians with such ferocity as baptism. This sacrament – necessary to the Christian faith – is modeled in Scripture by Jesus as well as His disciples in the early church. But when it comes to how we practice baptism, Christians are divided. Some churches practice infant baptism (paedobaptism) while others practice believer’s baptism (credo-baptism). Some believe you are saved through baptism, others believe it is a symbol of salvation, and others think it is somewhere between.
In the Dust At Last: Grief, Hope, and a Redeemer Who Lives
Christian grief does not require pretending everything’s okay. It does not mean we cease to feel or to hurt or wonder if the void will never again be filled. It does not mean we’ll be healed, but it does mean that we face all the pain and loss with the presence of a loving and faithful God.