Small Is Our Calling
Chop, chop, chop.
I sliced the green peppers in slim lines, then cut them crossways and pushed the pieces into a little pile on the cutting board. I moved to the cherry tomatoes, and then the carrots, then the romaine. My Kitchen Aid whirred loudly, beating a batch of pumpkin bread, and I could smell the banana bread as it rose in the oven.
“I still need to do the laundry, vacuum the bathroom, and wash the dishes…” I muttered to myself, because not talking simply isn’t an option, even when there’s no one around.
As I moved around the kitchen I thought about the last week. I’d done all these things before. I do them every week, some of them every day. I get up at 5 AM most days, make breakfast for myself and Mr. M, and do devotions until 5:45. Then we head to the gym until 7 AM, when I shower and head to work by 7:45. Then it’s phone calls, Excel sheets, deposit bags, meetings and tour times until 5 PM, when I battle traffic back to the apartment and make dinner, pack the gym bag, and chop peppers for the next day’s salads and lunches once again.
We read the words mommy bloggers who go through this with their little ones: the diapers, baths, and bottles; the “Why?” and “When?” and “I’m hungry!”s of the day after day. But we have those, too: the needy infants of our own in-between lives. To-do lists with menial tasks we do again and again.
I recently took a personality test, just for giggles. The result stated my type was ‘The Executive’:
“The ENTJ has many gifts which make it possible for them to have a great deal of personal power, if they don’t forget to remain balanced in their lives. They are assertive, innovative, long-range thinkers with an excellent ability to translate theories and possibilities into solid plans of action.”
The results went on to state that people of this personality may “have a problem with being constantly absent from home, physically or mentally” due to their intense focus on achievements and goals.
As I read that paragraph, I thought of myself chopping peppers in the kitchen. My mind is never on those peppers. So menial. So pointless. Yet so necessary.
A Few Good Men
Love is not a science, but if it were, I’d have a degree in Relationship Logistics. Do you ever wonder what inspires a girl to settle for a man of such mettle? I’ve come up with a feasible theory for the workings of the female mind; a mentality that inspires a girl to make decisions far different from what her nearest and dearest would hope. It’s the mentality of settlement: this is as good as it’s gonna get.
Dear Girl, I’m Just Like You
Dear Girl,
You see my pictures where I look happy, laughing-happy. Happy because I’m married and have a cool job, because I go on business trips and girls’ weekends. Because I drink coffee and blog, because my hair looks good in that picture and I probably don’t have a care in the world.
I look happy to you, like I don’t worry, don’t stress, like I woke up this way. Like my apartment is perfect, my clothes and husband and life are perfect. And yours isn’t.
In a world where we all ‘follow’ each other – a discipleship of image and best-face-forward – you look at me and think less of yourself. Or you look at me and think more of yourself.
Just like I look at others and do the same.
Dear girl, I’m just like you.
I’m the woman at the gas station in the scuffed heels. I’m the girl answering the phone with annoyance in her voice. I’m the one with the fighting heart and the too-strong tongue that stings sometimes, even when I don’t mean it.
Red Heels, Lattes, and Finding Joy In Between
Mondays are my least favorite day of the week, and my resentment towards them builds from 5 PM Sunday night to my alarm’s unwelcome tune at 4:50 the next morning. Yet another week of trying to juggle everything, my mind stews as I make the familiar drive into work, usually running late. I enjoy the busyness; I thrive in it. I love my coworkers. Yet when Monday comes, the dread builds as I realize I must shift from the ‘optional’ to the ‘required’ mode of operation.
Birth Control in a World of Extremes
This post is part of a series, The Other Virgin Diaries.
Mr. M and I sat back to back in our office at our respective desks. My screen bleeped, and I saw a Facebook notification. “Joshua Masonheimer has sent you a video.”
“Stop sending me baby videos.” I muttered.
Mr. M chuckled. We both come from large families: he is one of seven, I am one of six. I am the eldest, he is the third. We are well acquainted with babies, children, and the whole family process, since we were in our teens when our youngest siblings were born.
I’ve been asked by several readers to share my views on birth control. Before anybody gets up in arms, fingers hovering over keyboards to angrily share ‘their side of the story’ – I’ve heard all the sides, inside out and upside down. Here is what I’m going to talk about in this post:
ALL the options available for birth control (it seems only Cosmo talks about this)
Why I PERSONALLY chose not to use the Pill
Five factors to consider when choosing your OWN birth control option
This is an issue that requires prayer and thoughtful consideration, as well as discussion with your fiance or husband. However, it’s also a topic on which few resources are provided from a Christian perspective. As an engaged woman, I found only two extremes: those who believe in no birth control whatsoever and those who pop a pill, no questions asked. Well, I had questions. I researched, argued with my gynecologist, and talked with Mr. M extensively before making my decision. We have now been married nine months and have complete peace with our decision, and I’ll talk more about that in a little bit.
So what options are available? There are actually quite a few.
Birth Control Options:
The Pill, Rings, Shots and Patches
All of these are hormone-based. Here is a description from WebMD:
“These hormones work to inhibit the body’s natural cyclical hormones to prevent pregnancy. Pregnancy is prevented by a combination of factors. The hormonal contraceptive usually stops the body from ovulating. Hormonal contraceptives also change the cervical mucus to make it difficult for the sperm to go through the cervix and find an egg. Hormonal contraceptives can also prevent pregnancy by changing the lining of the womb so it’s unlikely the fertilized egg will be implanted.”
Why Your Homeschooling, Modesty, and Virginity Will Never Save You
It had been a day. Not just a day… but a day: the kind that, when you reach the end of it, you either want to put on your best heels and go out on the town or curl up in your duvet and die.
To start, I’d been up late the night before and only had five hours of sleep. I came to work late because I had to pick up some tax forms Financial Aid needed. Then I got sent home sick.
Once home, I found out the tax forms still weren’t right. I couldn’t reach Mr. M, who was in Tennessee – and he’s who put the forms together.
Nationwide wanted information on our renter’s insurance, which I also didn’t have.
I tried to call the doctor to pay an outstanding bill and they wouldn’t answer. I called another doctor – the one I’d been trying to get an appointment with for three months but couldn’t because the last one wouldn’t send my records – and they stated, once again, that my records were MIA.
So I sat on the sofa in Mr. M’s t-shirt eating a bowl of Cocoa Krispies, bawling my eyes out for a good five minutes. This is the most effective response under such circumstances.
And I still had a three page essay and seven page paper due that night. My computer decided it would be nice to just shut down in the middle of my essay.
“Moral question:” I texted my sisters. “Would it be wrong to swear while writing a theology paper?” The answer is quite obvious, and I didn’t do it, but my stars! What a day!!
—-
Our lives are a transcript of our theology. We cannot separate what we believe about God from the choices we make.
One of the saddest things I encounter as a writer is the lack of biblical knowledge many Christians possess. They attempt to parse together a knowledge of God from Sunday School messages, Beth Moore studies, and the every-now-and-then quiet time. We live in a world of Christians who might know the word ‘justification’ but couldn’t tell you what it means for their lives.
Our doctrine – our theology – it matters. It is fundamental to absolutely everything we do as women. What you believe about God and His gospel story will affect:
How you speak
How you think
How you dress
How far you go with your boyfriend
How you navigate your future
How you view marriage and children
How you handle your finances
How you view your purpose in life
Don’t believe me? Here’s an example.
Virginity is Not God’s Goal
“Virginity is something made up by men to keep women trapped in shame.”
When I read that statement I was finishing up a journal article review about the effects of Southern Baptist Fundamentalism on women. Along the way, I got distracted by some secular feminist authors. The concept of virginity – the unspoken weight of a ‘first time’ is, according the authors I read, a product of the ‘patriarchal’ movement. This movement (again according to secular authors) seeks to shame women into subjugating their sexuality to men. The ‘myth’ of virginity is allegedly part of this agenda.
I could be considered a ‘fundamentalist’ by the secular audience. I was raised in the church, grew up in a Christian home, I vote conservatively, I was homeschooled, I married young and don’t use the birth control pill. But when secular writers draw a battle line against fundamentalists, they aren’t reacting against people like me. They’re reacting to the legalists.
Unfortunately for Christians, there are a few in our camp who have elevated acts of grace-gratitude (works done because of faith) to requirements for salvation (works done to earn grace). Virginity is one of these legalistic requirements. The purity movement accomplished much good, but deep within its underpinnings lies an unanswered question: Will God still love me if I am not a virgin?
The purity movement has worked so hard to prevent it has lost its ability to restore. In an effort to teach women the glory of God’s design for sex, we have failed to extend God’s hope to the hurting. So I’m going to make a bold statement: purity is not about virginity.
Purity is not about virginity because virginity is not God’s goal.
Three Sex Questions the Church Won’t Answer
Last Sunday our pastor preached on a passage in 1 Corinthians that talked about sex. “You’re probably thinking, “This is going to be awkward to listen to,”” He said, then laughed. “If you think that’s awkward, try giving this sermon.”
Like my pastor’s sermon, writing this series can be hard. As I pray over each post, I sometimes argue with the Lord over the content. “That’s too transparent,” I will say. “I’d rather speak in generalities.” But the Lord consistently reminds me of my own self a few years ago, desperately trying to find answers from a biblical perspective but unable to find them in a world of safe, Christian generality.
God’s Word applies to the questions you are asking about sex. God designed sex, God provided His Word, and God has given us His Spirit to enlighten the Word and guide us into a life that honors Him. But God gives us great freedom within this context. I’m not going to add rules to God’s Word, but point you to the principles God has provided that guide us through questions about sexuality.
Is masturbation a sin?
If you struggle with this, my friend, you are not alone. I receive emails almost every day from girls guilty, ashamed, and terrified to talk to anyone about their struggles. For women, this issue bears a much greater stigma than for men. Because no one addresses this topic openly with women, they feel it is a sin of which they cannot speak – and because they cannot speak and don’t know where to look, they cannot get help from a biblically-based source. My heart is to reach girls like these with God’s hope and restoration.
But is masturbation really a sin?
Biologically, masturbation is simply a body’s response to stimulus. But because it involves our sexual design – which was meant for union with a man in marriage – it is also connected to our mind, emotions, and spirit. This is why masturbation often requires porn, erotica, or mental fantasy in addition to the physical action.
Glory Filled: Your Body is the Temple of God
The plan had been given with strict instructions to meticulously craft every detail. The materials were of choice selection, imported from afar. The field of laborers was vast, totaling 70,000. The quarrying of stone required another 80,000. Still another 3,600 oversaw the work.
This would be no small undertaking.
With King Solomon at the helm, all worked together to create such splendor as had never been seen. After all, this was the Temple of the living God and nothing less would do. It had to be unmatched in magnificence.
Twenty-three tons of gold overlaid the walls. The beams, the nails, and the door sockets were made of gold—even the floor was overlaid with the precious metal. All of the priestly utensils were finely crafted before being overlaid with gold. Palm trees, chains, pomegranates, and cherubim decorated the walls, adding lavish marvel everywhere the eye could wander. Jewels graced the walls in elegant display.
Within the heart of the Temple hung a fine linen curtain lavishly decorated with blue, purple and scarlet thread. Here was found the most significant place on all the earth. The Holy of Holies. Beyond this curtain stood two cherubim. Together, their wingspan drew 30 feet of shelter above the Ark of the Covenant, dwelling below. The Holy of Holies.
Seven years of tireless effort brought the close of the building period. It was here. The moment all had been anxiously awaiting. In grand procession, the Ark was laid to rest beneath the cherubim. Dressed in fine priestly garments, the Levites stood to the east of the Temple. One hundred and twenty trumpeters accompanied cymbals and other instruments in magnificent unison. All lifted their voices in great praise unto the Lord.
“He is good! His faithful love endures forever!”
This was their song. Can you hear it?
Then, a thick cloud descended. A hush may have covered the crowd in silent awe and memorization.
The glory filled the Temple.
You Don’t Want to Lose Him… But Maybe You Should
Settling. That’s what we call it. Why do smart, beautiful, Christian girls take the immediate rather than wait for someone worthy of them? I ask myself this question often. Maybe it’s the wanna-be-soccer-mom person that I am, but each time I see a girl settling for a guy who devalues her, I feel a parental pang of sadness. The truth is: I know exactly why they settle. I know why girls take the guy in front of them instead of waiting to see if something better is yet to come.
I know the motive because I’ve been there – and now I’m on the other side of the dating game. Married, my husband and I think of our younger selves and say: “If only you knew what God had in store.”
Two Ends of the Spectrum
I have seen two very unhealthy perspectives when it comes to dating and marriage: the first is an overemphasis on marriage as an end-all, achievement, or goal. It is the idea that life ‘begins’ when we marry.This mentality makes marriage an idol and man a god, removing our effectiveness as individual persons.
The second perspective is a complete distaste for marriage (often as a reaction to overemphasis), excessive independence and an attitude of ‘swearing off’ men or marriage in general. This mentality acts as if marriage is man’s idea, not God’s, and scorns God’s design for relationship. It is another form of idolatry: the idolatry of independence and self-discovery.
Neither is healthy, as is the case with most extremes.
In between these two we find women waffling between a desire to be desired and the drive to be individual. But that drive is tempered by a prick in the back of her mind that if – just if – the right man were to show up, would she be in a position to accept him into her life? Would her individual pursuits have alienated her prospects?
So before we delve into why we settle and why we shouldn’t be settling, here are a few thoughts:
It is not wrong to want to be desired.
It is not wrong to be independent, strong, and individualistic (in fact it is healthy).
We were created for companionship, but that companionship is for life.
We have to say ‘no’ to the lesser in order to say ‘yes’ to the best.
God-honoring relationships require absolute trust and unshakeable faith.
Want to be Wanted
Woman is beautiful and her body was designed in such a way to please the eye. Man was designed to be visual (in a perfect world, this visual nature would be dedicated to his wife alone). Though both men and women desire one another and need affirmation, a woman’s ‘want to be wanted’ creates in her a drive to please, to be valued, and to be affirmed that she is capable, beautiful, and acceptable for who she is.
“How Far is Too Far?” is the Wrong Question
God’s will and command for us as Christians is not, “Try to live a good life,” or “Try to please Me as best you can,” or “Figure out a standard that works for you,” but – be holy. In word, deed, thought, action we are to emulate our God who enables us to do this by His Spirit (John 14:16, 15:26).
So the question to ask is not, “What can I get away with?” but “How holy can we be?”
How to Overcome Your Partner’s Sexual Past
“I know God has forgiven him, and I have too… but will he think differently of me? Will I be beautiful enough?”
Her question was one I asked Josh before we got married. Many of you following the Other Virgin Diaries read my husband’s testimony in ‘Does God Forgive Sexual Sin?’, where he told his story of God’s grace and redemption over his own sexual past.
But as we approached our wedding day, I asked both my Josh and God: “Will that past affect our future?”
Guarding Hearts, Kissing Frogs, and Other Dating Mistakes We’re Making
Growing up I had this perception that at when I turned 18, there would be a line of suitors down my sidewalk.
Then I went to college, the Mecca of Christian manhood – and expected the same thing.
Well, surprise, surprise! Not every man in Michigan and Virginia got word I was on the market. There were a few dates; a few going-out-for-coffees… but definitely no receiving line.
I’m hoping you’ve read enough of my other posts to understand my views on purity, dating, and sexuality, but if not, I’ll give you a bullet point list:
Purity is not about standards; it’s about pleasing God.
Standards of dating behavior come from our desire to please and honor God. When you want to please God, you won’t be letting men get handsy on you.
God designed sex for within marriage for our protection and our glory.
Women who respect themselves and understand their God-given value will have the most successful relationships (we’ll talk about this in this post).
We should place higher priority on God’s approval than on man’s, and always be willing to give up man’s approval in order to keep God’s…
Will God Forgive Sexual Sin?
I was crumpled in a ball by my nightstand, sobbing so hard it came in gasps. I couldn’t see through the tears, and I didn’t want to. I didn’t know what I wanted. I didn’t know who I was anymore.
At the beginning it had all seemed to make sense: he liked me; he asked me out; he wanted to date me. But then… then he said my standards were too high. He said because I wouldn’t kiss him (after barely getting to know him), he would leave me. And he did.
I took him back. Now here I was, still a virgin, but an emotional wreck of who I’d been before. What happened to Purity Girl? I was the poster child for it. I wore the ring, I knew the rules, I wrote blog posts about it. This was supposed to be my area of expertise. How come it was so easy to compromise to a man who used my desire for affirmation to manipulate me?
As I knelt there hunched over a tear-stained Psalm 51, I asked God: How could you ever forgive me of something I’ve done again and again? Can I ever be who I was before?
Maybe you’ve asked those same questions. Today we’re going to answer them with what God has revealed to us in His Word. He is the only one who can speak with authority on this subject.
Since the beginning of the Other Virgin Diaries series, 60% of the emails I receive contain the above questions in some form. It’s a pressing concern for many young Christians who have compromised purity (to any degree) and long for their relationship with God to be renewed. But in the midst of that hope, many of us doubt God’s forgiveness or are unsure of what it looks like.
Sin is sin: whether it be gossip, lying, pride or extramarital sex, all sin is breaking the law of God (1 John 3:4 “Sin is lawlessness”). Sin is offensive to God because God is holy and perfect (Is. 6:1-5). Because man chose to sin in the beginning of time (Genesis 3) all of us are born with a natural tendency toward sin and thus toward offending God (Romans 5:12).
Sexual sin, however, is a different beast. Unlike other sins, sexual sin affects the body, emotions, mind, and spirit (1 Cor. 6:18). Sex was designed to be a thrilling experience in marriage, in which context the physical-emotional-spiritual connection is intense and fulfilling. But when removed from that context, sex has the power to twist our self-perception, spiral us into deeper sin, and most of all separate us spiritually from our pure relationship with God. God knows this danger, and therefore requires sex and the acts of foreplay leading to arousal as a part of marriage and nothing else.
Having established this, what do we do? What do we do if we have transgressed God’s law, offended God, and separated ourselves from a peaceful relationship with Him? Is there hope for those affected by the consequences of illicit sex?
YES! There is hope! Below are the steps we take to know this forgiveness and walk as conquerors in the grace of God.
3 Ways to Guard Your Girlfriend’s Purity
Most temptations are discussed as if they come from an outside source; not from within our own hearts. Today, let me outline for you several things you can do to promote a healthy and pure relationship with your girl.
To the Girls In the Pew Ahead of Me
You don’t know me. I don’t know you.
I saw you come in and sit down in front of me, smiling and hugging each other, looking around the sanctuary for familiar faces. During the greeting break you shook my hand, we exchanged a few words; maybe ‘Hello, how are you?’ or ‘What’s your name?’
You are all very pretty. Beautiful, actually: tall, thin, with good hair, nicely styled. Your makeup is perfect, even if you don’t think so. You are quite a good looking trio.
I didn’t keep watching you – I’m not that creepy. But after the sermon, as you walked out the door, I wish I had touched your arm and spoken.
I wish I had thanked you.
There’s something else you don’t know – other than me, that is. You don’t know that this Sunday there was a young man sitting behind you; a young man who desperately needs Jesus. I’ve been praying for him for months and it’s a miracle he was even in church today.
He probably didn’t come to church looking for Jesus. He likely came for a pew like yours – a pew of girls. But you provided him no distraction.
Every one of you was attractive. Every one of you could have advertised that attractiveness with what you wore, drawing attention to the shape of your waist, your curves, or the length of your legs. But you didn’t.
When you worshiped God in front of me and the young man behind you, the most prominent visual of your character was your heart for God. When this young man may have been looking for a distraction, he couldn’t find it with you…
Five Things to Do If Your Wedding Night Scares You
If we worry about our wedding night, worry about how we look, worry about whether our husband will like us – we are inhibiting our own sexual experience! By trusting God’s plan, embracing our identity, and accepting our husband’s love we can jump wholeheartedly into all the excitement of marital sex.
Dear Girl, This is Why We Save Sex For Marriage
But God’s design for sex is based on real, God-defined love. It is good to desire that kind of love. But when our desire for love is reduced to a desire for physical closeness alone, we have missed the point entirely. Sexual sensations are a product of sex – but they aren’t the purpose.
I Waited Until My Wedding To Lose My Virginity, and It’s the Best Thing I Ever Did
Phy, you need to read this.”
I got that text from my friend while I was sipping coffee in renovated cottage-turned-cafe. It contained a link.
“This writer did a purity pledge,” The texts continued. “And has rejected all of it. You need to read it, and some of the comments.”
So I did, and as tears welled in my eyes, I knew I’d have to do what I really don’t like doing: write a response post.
The article was entitled “It Happened to Me: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t”. I read it in its entirety. The more I read, the more heartbroken I felt for Samantha (the author) and the twisted experience she relayed in the post. But my sadness was overwhelmed with a sense of utter urgency.
A lot of young women will read that post: young women who have made purity pledges and are waiting for an excuse to walk away from them. Young women teetering on the bring of sexual and spiritual destruction. Young women wondering if it is even worth this waiting-for-marriage.
So I’m going to battle for the other side because this waiting-for-marriage thing – it’s worth it. In fact, waiting for marriage to lose my virginity was the best decision I ever made.
1. My commitment to purity wasn’t to a church: it was to Christ Himself…
Type A Diaries: But I’m Not a Nurturer! (Video)
Despite the fact I took a Master Gardening course for a semester, I have an uncanny knack for killing all things green. I’m not quite sure how my geraniums have survived the last month, since I haven’t tended to them since the Fourth of July.
My non-nurture nature isn’t specific to flowers. As a nanny, I was very brass tacks. I’m not paid to baby these children, I told myself. I’m paid to cook and clean and change diapers. So that is what I did.
To ‘nurture’ means to ‘care for and encourage the growth or development of’ something or someone. For those of us who are ‘Type A’, the time and patience required for this care may not be an exciting prospect.
But love is on the to-do list, and part of love is being patient, kind, and gentle – all traits which contribute to the nature of a nurturing spirit.
What does this ‘nurture’ look like? What is it, and what is it not?
5 Things to Do When You Don’t Know What to Say
“There are times silence is like lettuce in your teeth; incredibly awkward, but without a sudden exit to the bathroom, no way to deal with it appropriately.
Our high school method for such silences was to lay one hand on top of the other, spinning thumbs like a turtle’s fins and hollering “AWKWARD TURTLE” until we were all laughing again. But I can’t do that at work, even though there are times I’d really like to. I can see it going down in the conference room, me in my black suit looking professional but completely ‘I Love Lucy’ on the inside:
“Where did these matriculation rates come from? The business intelligence office?”
{Silence.}
“AWKWARD TURTLE!”
It could be really great.
There are a lot of times I don’t know what to say, whether it be in a conference room, on the phone with a friend, or in the living room with my husband. Sometimes I know what I want to say but I know I shouldn’t say it, which leaves me gasping for synonyms like a landed catfish.
But God gives us a template for what to say in those situations. He even gives us a few options to choose from.”
Type A Diaries: Becoming Interruptable
Type A Girl here.
I love children, and I can’t wait for the day Mr. M and I have our own. We’ve arranged our life in a manner that plans for children and is ready to support them if they happen to appear on the scene. But I’m not living in a fantasy world.
I already know what’s going to happen when my precious, mostly-silent infant gains a tongue and mobility: I’m going to be interrupted… all the time.
When I think about our future family, I get this knot of trepidation in my stomach not because I know I’ll be inconvenienced and interrupted, not because life will change, not because some sort of perceived ‘freedom’ is taken away by having kids – but because I know that my current self would have a very, very difficult time dropping everything to take care of pint-size interruptions.
It’s bad enough at work, during my spring cleaning, or even while I’m staring obsessively at my whirring KitchenAid.
I hold up one finger. “Hang on! I’m in the middle of something.”
“But -”
“I can’t talk right now, I’m doing things.”
Which is a lie, because I’ve always been able to talk while doing things. It’s one of my most developed skill sets.
I work with the most interruptable woman I have ever met. Her name is Joy, and she lives up to that name in everything she does. No matter what she is doing – which is always a lot – she will set it down, look you in the face, and listen to your need. She’ll help you. She’ll take care of you. She’ll even do your job for you. And she’s not the least bit put out by the fact you gave her no notice at all….
That Day He Wore Skinny Jeans: 5 Reasons Men Should Be Modest, Too
The band was performing with gusto, lights flashing, fog fuming, guitars screaming. The lead singer rotated between unintelligible hollering into the microphone and racing around the stage with his companions. But it wasn’t his voice – nor his sick guitar skills – that caught my eye. His pants were, quite literally, center stage.
Not only were they skin tight on his large man-thighs, they were awkwardly skinny at the ankle, making him look something like a Thanksgiving turkey. And he definitely didn’t pick Curvy Fit, because the waistband was in a terrible state of gappage. I could see the better half (worse half?) of his plaid boxers, and I was more than a little grossed out.
In defense of female immodesty, some say: “Why are we only talking about women? What about the men, don’t they have to be modest too?” This argument is, at its core, invalid and fallacious; an ignoratio elenchi (ignoring the actual refutation) that shifts focus from the woman’s responsibility by drawing attention to the responsibility of the man. It never deals with the issue itself. Modesty, as pertains to women, is a dual responsibility, one that requires men keep their eyes to themselves and women to show self-respect and love for God by how they choose to dress. The 5 Myths of Modesty post deals with the female side of this equation.
But do men need to be modest? That’s what I’m addressing today.
Modesty is simply humility of mind worked out in dress. As the 5 Myths post concluded, how we dress is a direct reflection of our personal choices of behavior and worship of God. It is by no means the ONLY reflection – but it is one of them. Therefore the same attitudes, actions, and responsibilities that apply to women and modesty also apply to men…
Go Now, and Sin No More
The light was bright as the sun: gleaming, searing, so intense I could only squint down at my feet as I shuffled up the steps. Enormous doors opened slowly as I approached, their engravings deep and elaborate. Everything – the doors, the steps, the light – was brilliant white.