Prayer is War
I write this to you tired. Physically, because we’ve had a taxing week of back-to-back speaking engagements for me, followed by a bout of sickness so severe it took me out for several days and currently has Josh down for the count. I am still struggling with the...
How Did Sabbath Become Sunday Worship?
In recent years there has been an increase in Instagram posts and resources encouraging Christians to revert from a Sunday celebration of worship to a Saturday Sabbath. Why is this? To answer this question we have to look at the history of Sabbath and how it transitioned to Sunday worship! The celebration of Christian community and the resurrection of Christ on Sunday has been a standard in the Christian church since the first century, but it’s important to know why the Christians diverged from the Jews on their day of meeting.
Five Views of Biblical Creation
We attach a lot of emotion to the topic of creation theories. Sometimes this is because it’s a view we were always raised with and questioning or challenging it feels like breaking apart faith itself. Remember: challenging our worldview doesn’t mean we necessarily walk away from our viewpoint. It forces us to be honest about what we believe and understand the questions skeptics are asking – even skeptics who are fellow Christians.
The Constant I Have is You
In other years I’ve written about why I chose you; how I worked through insecurity and fear; how we processed our independence; how we fought for our covenant; and last year, how our community made our marriage what it is today. All those things are still true and still in process.
Should Christian Women Watch Redeeming Love?
Two years ago I discussed on Instagram how Christian romance, but specifically the popular book Redeeming Love, have acted as a “gateway drug” to pornography and erotica in the lives of many young women. Testimonies flooded in from women who were recommend this book by older mentors, aunts, friends, and pastor’s wives. Now that the movie is coming out January 21st, I have moved the content of that Instagram talk to a podcast episode and blog post.
Honest Marriage Episode 12 // On Growth
As Josh and Phy wrap up their series on marriage, they conclude by discussing growth: how do we grow together practically and encourage one another to be diligent workers for the benefit of the covenant? There are practical things we can do along with the more fundamental actions of prayer and communication. In this episode, Josh and Phy discuss the practical things they do to stay on the same page, set goals together, and encourage growth in the areas in which they need it.
Honest Marriage Episode 11 // On Common Interests
When Josh and I started dating we didn’t have many things in common. We didn’t like the same music (and I liked concerts; Josh didn’t); we didn’t like the same books, games, or hobbies. We were drawn together instead by mutual values, which worked until we tried to decide what to do for fun! As time went on we discovered just how different we actually were (not just in hobbies, either – we are opposites on every single personality test, and have completely opposite rankings for our love languages, apology languages and more!).
Honest Marriage Episode 10 // On Friendships
How do we cultivate friendships as a married couple – both together and separately? In this episode of the Honest Marriage series Josh and Phy discuss the nuances and difficulties of friendship after marriage. Some friendships are for seasons, others are longterm. Making friends as adults can be hard, especially when you have to take into account your spouse’s preferences and opinions.
Honest Marriage Episode 9 // On Flirtation
In honor of the NEW book launched by Phylicia and her friend, Lisa Jacobson, this week Josh and Phy talk about FLIRTATION! Is it wrong? What happens when we’re told flirtation is wrong and then get married? How did Phylicia’s 30 day flirtation experiment on Josh turn into a book??
Honest Marriage Episode 8 // On Church
Marriage and family take place within the larger family of Christ’s church. Church is not just a building or a dutiful Sunday attendance; it is a community of faith and accountability, and for marrieds, a support system and place to serve. Churches are made up of imperfect people and are therefore imperfect institutions, but it is within our church family that our marriages have a place to thrive.
Honest Marriage Episode 7 // On Transitions
For years it seemed like Josh and I could not come up for air. During engagement, Josh struggled to find a job after college. The job he found was unpredictable and kept him on the road every day, sometimes away for a week or more at a time. Once we were married, not much changed. We found out we were pregnant on our first anniversary and from then on experienced a succession of job changes, losses, financial set backs, out of state moves, more babies, moving again, starting a business – it just didn’t end.
Why Online Christians Are So Mean (And What to Do About It)
If you’ve ever perused the Facebook comments on a popular Christian page, you know exactly why I’m writing this article. Facebook comment threads are a window into raw humanity, are they not? And this is true of all social media, not just Christian pages! So why do Christian commenters seem no different from their unbelieving associates? The attitude, tone, and name-calling is exactly the same – maybe with a few less swears. It doesn’t take a biblical scholar to say: Something isn’t right.
Honest Marriage Episode 6 // On Parenting
We’re told that having kids can be the death knell of a marriage. We’re told kids can ruin, wreck or render painful a relationship otherwise well preserved. But the truth is that kids don’t ruin marriages; they reveal them. Serving the children God blesses us with will expose our patterns of sin and selfishness, things we were better able to brush under the rug without little humans around. In this episode of the Honest Marriage series on Verity Podcast, Josh and Phy talk about how parenting changes marriage, how they get on the same page, and how to communicate about parenting decisions (especially in the little years).
We Serve a Playful God
We know God is holy. We know is kind, good, just, gracious, and all the spiritual qualities we observe in Scripture. But if we are image-bearers of Christ… created to echo His creative and loving power… is our playfulness an echo of His heart?
How to Avoid the Theological Pendulum
In my interdenominational work I frequently see a “theological pendulum swing”: negative experiences in one corner of Christendom driving believers into the opposite persuasion. Changing opinions are not a problem; they’re often a sign of maturity. The problem? When those believers turn and shout at the corner in which they used to stand, worried everyone who remains there is on the brink of deception.
Honest Marriage Episode Five // On Pregnancy and Postpartum
Marriage comes with its stressors and challenges. Add onto that the challenges of pregnancy and postpartum, and marriage can feel incredibly hard. Emotions and hormones are running high, both parties can feel neglected, all while caring for a tiny human! There is so much going on in this season marriage can sometimes take a back burner. But it’s a season where we need one another more than ever.
How Accepting God’s Affection Helps You Love Your Spouse
In the early years of my marriage I struggled deeply with anger. While I still struggle in this area, the amount of anger I spent on Josh in those early years was much greater than it is now. The change in my heart – and marriage – didn’t come from learning anger management techniques (helpful as those might be) or counting to ten and breathing through my nose. The progress in my marriage began with the affection of God.
Ten Christian Books for Every Life Stage
Friends – SO many great books launched in Fall 2021. I was honestly overwhelmed. I have a stack as big as my torso on my desk and wanted to do individual book reviews for each, but since I want these in front of you before 2023, I decided to shorten my summaries and compile them in one place! If you’re looking for some great gifts, or want to keep this post for future reference, save it in your browser because this is one to come back to!
Honest Marriage Episode Four // On Fighting Well
In our early years of marriage we did not fight fair. We lectured. We withdrew. We were condescending and rude. Even when we learned to fight with more grace, we ended up in the same unhealthy patterns of communication – fighting over the same things and ending the same way. Josh struggled to forgive, I struggled to apologize. While we still struggle in these areas today, we’ve been equipped with tools to better navigate our fights and to communicate our needs graciously.
When Your Husband’s Christian Walk is Weak
I can feel the pain and sadness without even hearing their voices. I can read it every Monday when questions are sent in; every week when emails come to the inbox; even face to face in the lives of people I love.
“I’m growing, but he’s not,” they whisper. “What do I do?”
How Church History Makes Sense of Today
If you’ve been in my corner of the internet for any span of time, you know I use church history to discuss theology, culture, and discernment in this present day. Church history (and history in general!) tells us why we are where are; it offers an explanation for ideas and cultural shifts. It gives context, background, and meaning. Basically – it’s important!
Honest Marriage Episode Two // On Gender Roles
Complementarian or egalitarian? These theological terms for the relationship between men and women in marriage and church are loaded with emotion, but do they have to be? And is that what Scripture intended? Over our years being married, Josh and I have discussed these theological points at length. As my ministry has grown we have further discussed what our marriage should look like in light of my public leadership.
Honest Marriage Episode Three // On Sexual Sin
Years ago I (Phylicia) was a sexuality blogger. I wrote extensively about purity culture, boundaries, dating, and my own history of sexual sin and addiction. Though I’ve seen stopped writing about it (the blog posts are still there!) it’s still a part of my story and by association, part of my marriage. Josh also brings experiences from his past to our relationship. In this week’s episode of the marriage series, we discuss how those testimonies impact our relationship and what to do when your spouse struggles with sexual sin.
Honest Marriage Episode One // Our Marriage Story
From a bookstore parking lot to publishing books together, Josh and Phylicia share the story of their relationship and how the theology of covenant kept them together through their most difficult marriage years. Josh is the surprise guest in this fifth season of Verity with Phylicia Masonheimer, and he’ll be joining us each week to talk “honest marriage” – what the Bible says about marriage and how that has been fleshed out for Josh and Phy personally over the last almost-eight years.