Christianity Offends Me
Christianity will always offend. But we should more concerned with offending the gospel than with offending the world. Jesus was offensive even as He poured out love and kindness. He was offensive because He claimed to be the Way.
“Just a Mom” Is More Than Enough
We don’t qualify our jobs by demeaning them. We don’t say, “I’m just an engineer” or “I’m just a recruiter” or “I’m just a hairstylist”. We’re taught to take healthy pride in our skills and accomplishments, to embrace and celebrate what we offer to our communities. Yet so often this world is an unsafe place for the family, where the longest hours are put in and the most patience is required, all for the compensation of a sleepy smile, little steps, and first words. So we cloak our motherhood with disclaimers and admit we are “just moms”.
Why My Daughter’s Right to Life Trumps My Right to Choose
Scandal.
That’s what it is, not just what it’s called.
And they knew it would be, when they wrote that episode: the one where a child’s life is taken to boost viewer ratings or cause a ruckus across the internet for a few days. They knew that’s how it would go when they wrote an abortion scene. #Istandwithplannedparenthood, right? It’s just a show, right?
But it’s not.
Why You Don’t Have to Feel Like a Failure
They say not to cry over spilled milk. Whoever said that must not have been breastfeeding. For my unmarried and childless readers, this experience may not be relatable at the moment. So you'll have to take my word for it when I say breastfeeding is harder than it...
Five Reasons to Establish a Morning Routine
As someone who finds joy in being busy, I always have multiple outer and inner expectations to meet. But the busier my schedule, the more likely I am to forget something, run late, or overwhelm myself to the point of anxiety. Marriage revealed to me just how often I lived in a stressed-out, anxious state – despite the habits I had already formed. So I began to devote more time to developing a real schedule and establishing a morning routine.
Stretch Marks Are the New Black
There was a time, not so long ago, I had to decide which of ten different blazers I would wear for the day. I had concerns like, “Which of these complements my brown stilettos?” and “Will this matching suit set make me look too much like a lawyer?” But these days getting dressed is much simpler. I only put on three things: a bra that doesn’t smell like milk, enough clothes to prevent the mailman from calling the police, and lipstick bright enough to qualify me for the red light district.
Why You Should Embrace the Woman Who “Has It All Together”
We don’t need to apologize for our “perfect lives” because there is no such thing. We should feel safe to celebrate our successes: our clean floors, our happy marriages, our birth stories, our weight loss, our non-scale victories. These are just as authentic as the rawness of struggle and difficulty. Both are genuine. All are real.
Natural Birth for the Pain-Intolerant
It started simply as curiosity, but as time went on, I found more and more information touting the benefits of an unmedicated birth: quicker recovery, greater comfort, more presence of mind, awake baby, and many more. This is all great, I thought. But I still have to do it MYSELF.
How Fantasizing About Guys is Keeping You Single
It is one thing to pray for your future husband, to have dreams, and indulge in a once-in-a-while glance at the future. It’s another to allow our hearts and minds to be consumed with love, romance, and the idea of a relationship that does not yet exist. The simple truth is that where your mind is focused is where your heart will go. Satan uses “good” things to distract us from what is best. What is best is to cultivate a mind that is dedicated to Christ, and therefore actions that reflect His power.
How to Break Up With Your Boyfriend
Break ups, as painful as they can be, are not our enemy. In fact, break ups can strengthen us for future relationships, teaching us crucial things about our natures as women and what we need to be seeking in a mate. No one said you would marry the first person you date. While some people do – and good for them! – not everyone has this destiny, and if you lived a holy life in that relationship, a break up does not “tarnish” you for the future. And if you did sin in the relationship – especially physically – there is redemption for the repentant.
How to Know If It’s Love or Infatuation
and it won my heart. And he’s still winning my heart to this day.
Love is the choice that keeps on choosing. Don’t settle for a pseudo-love that is an echo of the real thing. Look to God’s definition and allow Him to be your guide. You won’t regret it.
How Do I Know If I’m Called to Singleness?
You can’t know without a doubt that you’ll get married someday. You can’t get a guarantee that “Prince Charming” will come. But to the woman who follows God with abandon, those questions aren’t being asked. The question isn’t “What if he never comes?” but “What can I do NOW in case he does?” The reality is that marriage and children bring with them an enormous responsibility, and while these responsibilities have their benefits and their joys, they are a ministry in and of themselves. If you refuse to accept the ministry God has laid before you now, how will you be ready for the ministry of marriage?
What Godly Men Look For in the Women They Date
If a girl makes herself the kind of woman God expects her to be, she will be the kind of woman a godly man desires. I found Phylicia attractive because she desired to be more like Christ, and she called me to a higher standard because I wanted to be worthy of a woman like her. If you make yourself beautiful in God’s eyes, you will automatically be beautiful (generally attractive) in the eyes of a godly man.
How to Choose a Guy in 8 Ways: Guidelines for a Godly Man
Godly men aren’t always as “cool” as some of the guys in the church. They might not have all the physical qualities Hollywood sets as the standard. But in the end, the man who worked and loved and fought for his God and his family will win and his legacy will last – and the guy with the great hair and cool car and shallow faith will be remembered only for those few things he possessed in, rather than contributed to, his world.
Five Things to Remember When You’re Tired of Singleness
So how would you feel to know your future spouse hated waiting for you? That they were impatiently and discontentedly tolerating this season before meeting you? I think all of us hope for better from our future mate. We hope they make the best of this season, growing and changing into a person who will contribute positively to our future marriage.
With this in mind, are you embracing the temptation to give up and stop waiting, or are you embracing this season as God’s sovereign will, making the most of the time (Eph. 5:15-17)?
5 Reasons Your Church Isn’t Fulfilling You
This post is part of the July blog series "Why Am I Still Single? {And Other Pressing Questions}". To follow the series and meet other likeminded readers, like Every Woman a Theologian on Facebook or join me on Instagram! I could have grown up jaded by the church....
How to Pray for Your Husband… When You Don’t Know If He Exists
Praying for your future husband shouldn’t be the only thing on your prayer list by any means. But if you struggle with contentment, route your discontented thoughts into prayer. As one of my dear friends told me: “worrying is praying for what you don’t want”. Don’t worry about being single. Pray for wisdom, strength, humility, and a desire for the God who loves you – the same God who loves your future mate.
Singleness is Not a Problem to Be Fixed
I view singleness as a testing period, the reward of which is received through perseverance. I believe this is true because it is true for every other stage of life. Good marriages don’t just “show up” – you have to persevere in love, trust, and respect. Good kids don’t just “appear” – you have to teach, train, guide, and discipline children in the truth. And good single years don’t just “happen” – you have to persevere through the pain, loneliness, and discontent to live these years to their utmost possibility.
Why Am I Still Single? (And Other Questions)
Update: the first post in the series is live! Click here to read "Am I Single Because I'm Doing Something Wrong?" I used to stand by the fence lining our back pasture and watch the sun set, and when I did, I often prayed the same prayer: "Dear God, I don't know where...
How to Conquer a Critical Spirit
This post is part of the Broken and Beautiful series, a discussion of beauty and identity. I finally met her in person at a lingerie shower for a friend. I had seen her from afar and we shared dozens of mutual friends, but I had never approached her - partially...
5 Ways Comparison Defeats You
"After this baby is born, I'm writing an entire series on why you shouldn't believe anything you read on the internet concerning pregnancy." I said to my husband, slapping my laptop shut. He chuckled. "So they shouldn't believe anything you write, either." "That's...
Why Telling Ourselves We’re Beautiful Will Never Be Enough
This post is a part of the series The Broken and Beautiful, a discussion of identity, self-perception, and beauty.
I stood in front of the mirror and frowned. What had once been the outline of my abs was disappearing overnight, my face was broken out in all-new places, and I could point out several other flaws at the drop of a hat. Mr. M poked his head in the bathroom door.
“You’re beautiful.”
I smiled wanly. “At least you think so.”
I am now five months pregnant with Baby M, and though I’ve been able to hide my growing body underneath my regular clothes so far (thank heavens for blousy trends!), it is growing more difficult by the week. Not just that, but I’ve seen the visible changes as I get dressed each morning and hastily cover up my “undesirable” to put best face forward in my world.
Many of you are like me. Pregnant or not, you look in the mirror and cringe at what you see; then you cover up the “undesirable” before facing your world.
Why Uncertainty Is Necessary
A few days ago I received my Commencement packet in the mail. As I flipped through the pages, I was in something of a daze considering how long this day has been in coming. Hours of late night work, crying over papers I was sure would be the death of me, doing my best to keep up my grades through engagement, wedding, full time job and then early stages of pregnancy – and here I am: graduation!
Until my last class concluded in March I had always been sure of two things: I had to finish my degree, and we (Mr. M and I) needed to pay off his student loans to become debt-free. In March, I finished my Bachelor of Science in Religion and we made our last payment to Sallie Mae. I wanted to shout: “I’m FREEEEE!”
Once the excitement died down, however, I realized the things I had worked toward for so many years were now complete. The things that were certain were gone. Suddenly, the future seemed clouded with a fog of options and uncertainties, completely out of my control.
Every month I reassess my goals using Lara Casey’s PowerSheets. As I wrote down my goals for May I looked back at the goals I’d listed for 2015. I was a little astonished at what I could check off.
What I Learned From My Parents’ Marriage
http://phyliciamasonheimer.com/what-i-learned-from-my-parents-marriage-guest-post/