Open Yourself to God’s Unexpected Will
God’s will. We wonder what it looks like. We think discovering is the key to the future; that God has a grand blueprint for our lives, unalterable by our choices. We tell people “God has a wonderful plan for your life!” instead of “God wants to walk through every day with you!”, and the resulting worldview serves only to box God in.
Every Heart Kneels to Something
I read it a hundred times, in several different versions, but never in the version in front of me. I kneel over the page and read it again:
“…I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.” (Rom. 12:1-2, HCSB)
Do not be conformed to this age.
Is Biblical Submission Dangerous?
I was clicking through some of my referral links – the ones that send people to my page – and one pingback took me to a girl’s blog where she expressed her distaste for my post, “The 5 Myths of Modesty”. But her dislike for my stance wasn’t limited to the belief that women can wear whatever they like, regardless of responsibility or consequences; rather, Hannah expressed: “I just want to speak about my opinion of this dangerous, “submissive-attitude”.”
Submission: is it dangerous, like Hannah claims? I addressed this issue as it relates to modesty in my post, That Day My Husband Told Me What to Do. Subsequently, I did some research in both secular and Christian sources to evaluate both worldviews.
When God Gives Your Sister What You’ve Been Praying For
It might be a boyfriend, a marriage, a baby, or a job. Whatever it is – she has it, and you don’t.
If you’ve walked this path beside her for a while it probably feels unfair. If you’ve been waiting longer than she has, it may seem unfairer still. Yet it happens all the time: God gives your sister the very thing for which you’re waiting. How do you respond?
Dear Christian: Become the “Spiritual Leader” You’re Looking For
The words “spiritual leader” are synonymous with Christian dating culture. If you’re a single Christian woman, you’ve been taught, told, and everything short of commanded to only date men who are spiritual leaders. We talk about this as if the term is actually written in Scripture (it isn’t, though it’s insinuated: Eph. 5:22-23, 1 Cor. 11). The result? A confusing, limiting conversation that is straying further and further from the biblical model of church and family structure.
Don’t Wait Until You’re Worthy
To-do list ran into appointment which ran into dinner, and before I knew it the clock read 5 PM. I’d done everything I needed to do – except the one thing that really mattered.
Overwhelmed with guilt, I glanced at the Bible propped up on my cookbook stand. I’m sorry, I whispered. Why is it so hard to make time for You?
The Difficult Road to Lasting Friendship
This week on Uniquely Woman, Lisa and I are tackling the next episode in our friendship series. We’re discussing how to prepare your heart for deeper friendships, as well as how to keep the bonds of those friendships strong. We women long for friendships, but in so many seasons of life they seem beyond our grasp.
This is the Sex Talk You Never Had
“Is lingerie sinful?”
“What is oral sex?”
“How do I get over my husband’s sexual history?”
These questions have a common denominator: many of their authors never received a sex talk. If they did, it was insufficient or laced with the influence of cultural worldviews. Our Christian young women are seeking answers about their sexuality.
The world is ready to give them what they want.
We need to reach them first.
Why We Need Sexual Discipleship
Christians are already being sexually discipled – by the world. Young women learn about sex from Cosmo magazine, novels, and girl’s nights. Young men are exposed to pornography at as young as eight years old. Sexual addictions and perversions are as present in the church as they are in our culture, but no one wants to speak up because of the shame.
The ENTJ’s Guide to Not Messing Up Your Marriage
Three years ago this February, Josh and I stood on a stage and committed to honor one another for life.
We said our vows.
We exchanged our rings.
We shared our first kiss.
And after our guests went home, the honeymoon ended, and real life began, I discovered something astonishing: I’m not cut out for this.
Three years later, I’m still not cut out for it – yet here we are.
Finding Grace After Moving: How to Transition Well to a New City
This week on Uniquely Woman, Lisa and I are discussing a topic brought up at the podcast meetup we hosted in December. How do you acclimate to a new life after you move? Moving changes your whole life and it can take a while to find your footing.
Also, we had some sound issues with this recording and while we edited out as much as we could, this episode has a lower sound quality than our typical podcast. Thanks for your understanding and for listening!
Angry Wives and the Men Who Love Them
I used to think if I stayed pretty enough, slim enough, “made an effort”, it would make up for my hot temper. It didn’t.
I used to think if I managed my house with the superwoman ability of June Cleaver, he wouldn’t notice the lash of tongue. But he did.
He once told me there was nothing that pushed him away more than an angry woman. Yet here he is, married to someone with all that potential, and he loves her anyway. He loves me anyway. It doesn’t make sense.
Dear Girl, Stop Running From Your Sexuality
We’ve been taught to run from our sexuality.
Good Christian girls don’t talk about it; they aren’t even sure what to do with it. We know sex is for marriage, but what do you do before marriage? What do you do with these desires?
I can tell you one thing NOT to do: run from it. We need to stop running from our sexuality. I’m not talking about sexual sin or temptation; I’m talking about sexuality itself – our capacity for desire, the foundation of marital intimacy. Our sexual selves don’t suddenly “turn on” once we say “I do”. Our sexuality is part of our identities.
How to Cultivate Worship in Your Home
I used to think an atmosphere of worship required flickering candles, Bethel music, and hour-long prayer sessions. When I was single, that used to be my reality. I’d read my Bible, turn on worship music, and spend more than thirty minutes enjoying the presence of God. It felt like worship. It looked like worship.
Then I quit my job, moved to a new state, and had a baby – all in the span of one week. My life was upended for good, and in that transition I learned that worship is not a sequence of activities or a certain kind of music. It’s an attitude.
The Friendship That Started With Birth Control
This week on Uniquely Woman, Lisa and I are answering a commonly asked question: how did we meet? It’s a fun story that didn’t involve meeting in person until December of 2016. Since this is a Q&A episode, it’s only four minutes long – so be sure to take a listen! (And if you’re new to the podcast, scroll through past episodes to see some of the awesome topics we’ve discussed – including an episode on birth control itself).
The Day I Stopped Chasing Proverbs 31
Excellent.
It’s who I wanted to be. Excellence – my goal in work, home, marriage, motherhood, friendship – in every circle of life I would be at the top. I would not just do good; I would be good. I would be good at everything.
I sought new tasks and worked willingly: typing, scrubbing, cooking, writing.
I found the best deals and the cheapest groceries and cooked the healthiest meals.
I got up at 5 AM, planned my day, made the list, did the things.
I became a business. I worked out regularly. I dressed myself with as much style and class as I knew how.
Because I had to be excellent.
How to Enjoy Being a Mom
Inspired by this article, Lisa and I are discussing how to enjoy being a mom in today’s Uniquely Woman episode. Motherhood is hard and it’s a gift from God, and that dichotomy often needs an attack plan in our daily lives.
To the Woman My Husband Should Have Married
He would be happier with her, I thought. He would be better off.
Always there, the silent witness to my marriage; a quiet presence to my pain. Hers was a face I knew as well as my own, though I’d never seen her. Hers was the voice in my head and in my heart, telling me I was never enough: never fun enough, never compassionate enough, never – her.
He should have married her, I’d think, and work harder to be everything she was and more.
Passively Pro-Choice: How Sin Kills the Pro-Life Mission
Christians talk a lot about sexual purity. We talk a lot about being pro-life. Yet we’ve ignored the chasm of understanding between these two issues – issues that are integrally connected not just in reality, but in our spiritual lives. We brandish our “pro-life” monikers as if it’s a given – we’re Christians, after all! – yet fail to understand what sanctity of life looks like day-to-day.
The truth is this: “Pro-life” is not just a political viewpoint. It is a lifestyle.
Lingerie, Jesus, and the Girls Who Love Both
I invited Jesus to my lingerie shower.
He attended, no questions asked.
In the jokes and the gifts and the lace, His presence was real. He didn’t look like Himself, of course – His face was the face of my friends, the women who love Him and love me. But Jesus was there, right in the middle of our raucous laughter and our innuendoes about marital sex. He saw the joy, the anticipation, and the love of the women around me – women celebrating the sexuality He designed.
Honoring God in Postpartum Anxiety
This week on Uniquely Woman, Lisa and I are talking about how to deal with postpartum hormones in a godly way. We include some ideas for weathering the baby blues and dealing with hormonal changes as well as resources if you struggle with postpartum depression. Don’t walk this part of life alone!
You Are the Change Your Church Needs
A pang strikes my heart every time I write about the church. It’s the same discomfort I get when confronting a friend about a sin issue; a necessary pain. I wouldn’t want to take joy in correcting a flawed ideology, but neither should I ignore anything that hinders the gospel’s advance.
But in writing about the church – from women’s ministry to the millennial message – I have a weighty responsibility. The church is not a building, after all. The church is people. The church is me.
To the Girl Who Never Left Home (From the Girl Who Did)
The world needs us, you and I.
It needed me when I left, and it needs you for staying. You wouldn’t know it from what the magazines say… the Instagram posts about wanderlust and adventure, about moving out and moving on. The world makes it seem like I’m bigger, bolder, for leaving.
And you – the girl who never left home? You’re the one who “settled”.
Why Christian Girls Read Cosmo Magazine
I remember sneakily flipping the pages of Cosmopolitan Magazine in a nail salon waiting room. I turned the cover toward the wall so no one would see what I was reading, then voraciously flipped through the pages to fill in the blanks of my sexual education. I’m not the only Christian girl who’s done this. Thousands of us have furtively glanced through those pages.
We hate Cosmo for how it objectifies women, yet Cosmo – and magazines like it – draw us in. Why would a Christian girl read something like this? Three reasons.